If you could do it over again?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
If you could do it over again?
66
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 9:10am

Just been thinking alot lately about these last 10 years of my life (my kids are almost 10) and wonder if I had it to do over again, would I have quit my job and given up so much to be with my kids? I think I would have quit but would have gone about things sooooo differently.


My advice to anyone thinking of quiting to be home with kids is....don't take yourself out of your own life (financially, career wise, socially)!! Too many of us make this sacrifice only to find ourselves, years later, wanting back "in" (jobs for example) and not being able to get back even close to where we were before.

 

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2006
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 8:33am
What is with that store? I will go into Target with 3 things on my list and come out a 100 bucks later and I have no diea what I bought...the store is going to bankrupt me and they are builing one right up the street from me about 1/2 mile. I'm done..lol!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 10:27am
Congrats to you on raising your children alone!! I can only imagine how hard that would be and to have it happen suddenly, no warning. I think that the most challenging thing in life a person can set out to do, and achieve, is to produce a happy, adjusted member of our society. I realize that now with these two little boys. My goals used to be so lofty with them when they were first born- what could they be when they grow up, what great college would they go to...now, as life changes and realities set in, my goal for them is to just be happy and live the kind of life they want on their own.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 2:08pm
frist off before you have kids I think you should make a wise decesion if being a SAHM is for you.. My husband and i knew frist off I was going to be a SAHM and I have been for three years now. but before that we bought our first home with a house payment we could afford with just on his income.. We could have gotten the huge house on the west side of town, but we didn't we got the little white house on the east side of town.. Which is still a good area for our kids, but our house is a little older and needed fixing up.. but it was something we could afford!! I will never regret giving up my caree for my kids.. they will come first and we have made sure we put the foundation to there lives first and that is what truly matters.. being a SAHM is hard work and it's harder then any other job I have ever had, but i would so not trade it for anything else in this world.. as for getting my foot in the door later on in life..am not worried... I have a strong faith in God and I know he puts me where am supposed to be in my life and I know for one am to be with my kids and the rest cars, boats, houses ect ect.. that can all wait.. right now my kids need me and that's my number one thing in my life.. No regrets here!!



GREAT siggies by
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 2:41pm

thankfully one can be a wohm and their kids are STILL the number one thing in their lives.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-1999
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 4:08pm

I stayed home until our daughters were in school full time

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2006
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 4:10pm

Hello- I don't think I have ever posted here but I saw this posting under my playgroup board.

I have a 13-month-old and if I could do it all over again, I would definitely take a leave from working and stay home for at least his first year if I knew what I know now. I went back to work FT when he was 14 weeks old. It was so hard to leave him and not to mention stressing over pumping enough milk for him each day until he turned one. Ugh. My sister watches him so I didn't have to deal with day care or worry about his safety, but it was still so hard (and still is sometimes). As much as I wanted to stay home, at the time we couldn't afford it AT ALL...we were pretty much paying our rent on our credit card. Yikes. Things are better now, but if I quit I would have no health insurance and we would have nothing left over after bills. Not the life I want to live. In a couple of months I will be advancing in my career and will have the opportunity to make more money per hour and go PT. DH and I make the exact same income right now so quitting would be a huge blow. I think that hindsight is 20/20...for me to have stayed home, I would have had to wait longer to get pg and then I wouldn't have my DS. It's easy for people to say "stay home, your kids are only young once." Life is complicated! =)

Riley
Luke 12.20.06




Edited 1/20/2008 4:20 pm ET by rascal23
babies 

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/lamlamard20100321_-8_My+baby+boy+is.png

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 5:24pm

If I had to do it again, I would STILL be a wohm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 5:28pm

I dunno.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2006
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 5:33pm

That is great. No regrets!

I would like to SAH for a year or two when we have another baby...or work PT! More options will open up for me in the future as I progress in my career. I could never be a SAHM and not have any plans to go back to work...I have huge student loan debt and have put too much time and effort into my own career to not use it. Plus there is that part of me that likes working!

babies 

http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/lamlamard20100321_-8_My+baby+boy+is.png

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 8:20pm

Rascal,


As nice as choices are, we all don't have the choices we want when we want them. Does that make any sense? Life has so many challenges and finances are a huge part of everything we do these days. I was pretty much able to be home when my kids were small and could be home now but would be living with no savings, no safety net- not a smart thing for the kids. As my kids get older I realize that the quality of our time together is so important, not just the quantity too. Balance is hard to find and it is different for every family. We only do the best we can do AT THAT TIME. Things will change and get better for you financially, just can take time. Keep your eye on your money and keep control of things and you'll be fine!

 

Pages