If you could do it over again?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
If you could do it over again?
66
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 9:10am

Just been thinking alot lately about these last 10 years of my life (my kids are almost 10) and wonder if I had it to do over again, would I have quit my job and given up so much to be with my kids? I think I would have quit but would have gone about things sooooo differently.


My advice to anyone thinking of quiting to be home with kids is....don't take yourself out of your own life (financially, career wise, socially)!! Too many of us make this sacrifice only to find ourselves, years later, wanting back "in" (jobs for example) and not being able to get back even close to where we were before.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2006
Sun, 01-20-2008 - 8:46pm
Thank you. You are so right! =)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 2:00am

I worked the first year after my son was born and I regret I missed that first year. He's almost 10 now and I have no regrets that I quit to be home with him after that first year. We found out after he was born that I have health problems and couldn't have more children so for me it was a no-brainer to quit to be home with the only child I'd ever have. I didn't want someone telling me about my son's day, I wanted to be there and experience it myself. I'm so glad I quit. Those precious years with him are priceless. And I love being here for him before and after school and anytime he's sick.


I also understand that it's a very personal choice and isn't for everyone. I felt so guilty the year after he was born for working that I wasn't as good of an employee as I'd been before his birth.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 8:26am

This is a really interesting topic even though I don't have kids yet... My ultimate dream is to get my own business running smoothly enough that I can stay at home with the kids while also working on my projects and articles (I'm a writer :o).


So far I have gotten a little ways toward this goal, but my current day job's company is so amazing I couldn't dream of leaving until I had all my ducks in a row and until I knew I'd be making more $ and having a family of my own.


So yes, and yes. I plan to continue working AND stay at home for the kids, when they come. Hopefully my finances get on par with this! :-) Right now I am 26 and newly married and we DO need both incomes to survive and pay our mortgage and live within our means. I don't mind having to work one bit, but I do dream about what it would be like if honey and I didn't have to work and if we could just travel. Now where is my get rich quick scheme, hehe.

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Li

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 9:14am
you are right they will respect a working woman. It gives them a sense that women are not just bound by cooking, cleaning and more or less answering to every becking need of a man. I think that your boys will have a great appreciation for women when it is time for them to begin looking for one once they are of age. I have always been a strong believer that as long as you help your self then things will fall into place eventually. Go -Girl
Gabriall-Special People; Special Jobs
Gabriall-Special People; Special Jobs
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2008
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 10:49am

If I had the choice, which I really do not, I would love to be able to stay home.


I have three boys, the oldest is 14 and boy did he grow fast. I feel like I blinked an eye and he is going to be starting high school. I cannot get that time back, ever.


I also have an 18 mo and he is just a joy. I do not have the option to stay home, but I would encourage anyone else who does to do so.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 1:35pm
What changed when your son hit school age that you were willing to let him go off to school and let someone else tell you about his day?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 2:18pm

your post sounds like something my own mom would have said.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 8:57pm

Hi!


I caught a glimpse of this conversation and just thought I'd join.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2008
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 8:50am

If I could have a do over??? Yes, I would!

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 8:52am
Good lord I wouldn't do this over again if you paid me.... LOL...I used to celebrate the end of each baby milestone (yay!!! no more bottles no more diapers!)

 

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