If you could do it over again?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
If you could do it over again?
66
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 9:10am

Just been thinking alot lately about these last 10 years of my life (my kids are almost 10) and wonder if I had it to do over again, would I have quit my job and given up so much to be with my kids? I think I would have quit but would have gone about things sooooo differently.


My advice to anyone thinking of quiting to be home with kids is....don't take yourself out of your own life (financially, career wise, socially)!! Too many of us make this sacrifice only to find ourselves, years later, wanting back "in" (jobs for example) and not being able to get back even close to where we were before.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 9:01am

I don't mean that I would do the whole raising kids thing over again, who has energy for that!! I was meaning would I have stayed home or really tried to keep a career going and had a lot more control of my life when my kids were little. That was the original question. I had said I would have been much more in control, not rely on the H nearly as much, and worked more. I wouldn't have necessarily done daycare, if at all avoided, but....wouldn't be in the boat I am in now (trying to start almost from scratch financially and get my own affairs in order) if I had just had eyes wide open.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 9:41am

<<I countdown to the day when she can drive her self to her ballet classes LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 11:09am
Signatures are okay for business links as long as the member isn't posting just to have the signature show up.. i.e. "ditto".



Community Leader
Registered: 10-01-2002
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 3:18pm

what a great question!!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2008
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 8:41pm
I have three children, 5,3, & 1, and one on the way. After my first son, I went back to teaching full time. I was blessed to have my mother-in-law bring him to my class so that I could nurse at lunch and see him. The following year I was able to job-share. I have been job-sharing a teaching position for 5 years now. It is definitely not tremendously helpful financially. However, I am staying "in" the system, I get to do both the things that I love, being a momma and teaching. I also get the years added to my retirement and I am staying current with all the new trends (old ones that come back again!) in education. Most days I feel like I am getting the best of both worlds. I work 3.5 hours a day. My children get "playdates" basically with my in-laws and our cousin that watches them 2 X a week with her baby. There are days that I feel like a failure at everything and that I will never get "caught up" --whatever that means. But, over all, I highly recommend it. If you have the opportunity to stay in your profession and be with your children...what more could you ask for?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 10:07pm
I am 24 and just had my baby 5 months ago and already am looking to start working and doing things for me again. I love my baby so much, I really do, but staying at home just isn't for me. I need to have a career and social life. I want money of my own again - money that I earn so my husband doesn't rub it in my face that he is the one who brings in all the money. I want to feel independent again. Right now I feel so stuck and in a slump and trapped.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 7:21am
Sounds like you are doing the right thing then. When you do what is good and healthy for you then you are better able to care for your baby! Just remember that when you have self doubts. Staying home full time is not for everyone.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 9:30am
I wish he realized it. But he seems to think I have it easy because I "get to stay at home all day and do whatever I want." If only he knew! He watches her for the shortest period of time and he can't deal with it, yet he thinks it's easy for me. I just hate how his life hasn't really changed at all and mine is completely unrecognizable. Last time I checked it took both of us to make the baby, and it should be both of us sharing the responsibility.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2000
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 2:40am

I had never thought of staying home as sacrificing myself.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 6:02am

I'm glad that you have no regrets. I don't either and I continued to woh ft all the while raising kids.

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