If you had to choose...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
If you had to choose...
78
Mon, 07-14-2008 - 11:00pm

between being a full-time WOHM and a full-time SAHM (and both were feasible for you), which would you prefer, and why?
Given my job and my personality, I would prefer WOH. I don't find my job difficult or stressful. I very much enjoy it and feel energized by it. At the same time, I am lousy about domestic chores, so I would like to have the extra income for someone to help out with that. I'm also lousy at making my own routines and paying enough attention to DS, so although I love being around him, I don't have the energy to be a SAHM, and I feel that DS would actually have a better and more fun time in quality othercare.

How about you? If your choices were full-time WOHM or full-time SAHM, which would you prefer, and why?

Just so everyone knows, I'm more interested in the "why" part of the question. I've intentionally oversimplified the issue by making it an either/or choice between two options. What personality traits, desires, etc do you think would make you personally more suited to one or the other if you had to go all-or-none?




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Edited 7/15/2008 9:59 am ET by finally.me




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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 9:54am

i've never HAD TO pick one over the other..i'm happiest sah.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 9:56am
Just so everyone knows, I'm more interested in the "why" part of the question. I've intentionally oversimplified the issue by making it an either/or choice between two options. What personality traits, desires, etc do you think would make you personally more suited to one or the other if you had to go all-or-none?



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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 10:03am
I've chosen to sah.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2003
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 10:20am

"What personality traits, desires, etc do you think would make you personally more suited to one or the other if you had to go all-or-none?"


I'm currently looking to ret to work pt now that our youngest is heading into a day school program....but if I had to choose one or the other I would choose SAHM.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 10:39am

I thought I answered but, going back, I find that I haven't. I work because that's what's best for my marriage and family. Dh's chosen career will never provide 100% for our family. But I'd work regardless of our financial income. Even when I was ah and homeschooling, I did some type of paid work. I have been fortunate in being able to combine my sewing obsession with earning a paycheck. Right now, woh pt and wah ft is the best combination for me. Woh forces me out of the house and wah allows me to sew in private. My best days at work are when I don't have any fittings and I can sew all day long without interruptions.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 11:14am

This kind of N/A to me and also BTDT.


My children are all adults so at this point if I were to SAH I would not be a SAHM but a homemaker.


But when I did have minor children I did both, SAH full time and WOH full time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 11:33am

I guess I haven't exactly gotten to make this choice yet but it is something I think about ALL the time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 1:58pm

This reminds me of my 11 yo son's type of question: "If you had to have a superpower--and you can't just say you don't have the wisdom to control it, mom!--which one would you pick, flying or controlling water with your mind? You have to pick one!"


So, before I pick, does SAHM mean I'd have to literally stay home all day except for playgroups, errands, etc., or could I have my kids in school and do volunteer stuff like I do now? 'Cause I think of the former as a true SAHM and the latter more as a homemaker who doesn't really want to work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2007
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 2:49pm
WOHM for sure! I too suck at chores which is why I pay someone to clean my house. I do all the grocery shopping and cooking and DH does all the laundry and cleans up after dinner. Plus, we started a family late and I busted my booty going to school to better my career. I am not
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2007
Tue, 07-15-2008 - 2:52pm
30-35 hours a week is actually full time.
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