If you hadn't had kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
If you hadn't had kids...
1649
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 2:43pm
You are simply wrong. There are far too many ff, ebm cup feeding, crib sleeping, children out there who are just as attached to their parents as your daughter is to you for your "theory" to prove true. I base my opinion on real life examples, not wishful thinking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 2:51pm
No, the absurdity is in thinking that YOUR ideals are everyone's ideals...UGH..how incredibly narrow-minded and superficial. I have plenty of parenting ideals - setting rules and limitations and enforcing them, offering age-appropriate activities and discipline, loving my kids enough to say no, teaching them to love and respect others -- and how to navigate their peer relationships as they head into middle and high school. They have been taught that there is nothing wrong with being different and they are incredibly sensitive to those with special needs. My ideal is to shower them with unconditional love and a structure/framework for them to function in.

And i've done it all without bf or co-sleeping or attachment parenting, etc. In fact, the coolest thing came this weekend from my son who's basically anti-jewish (even though he studied for and performed his bar-mitzvah spectacularly)...HE said to ME that he wants to investigate going to the hebrew high school next year! Yeah, i can see how i'm doing things wrong...BWHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the ridiculousness is astounding.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 2:53pm
"FOR THE FIFTH TIME: you have not yet explained why bm from a breast is better than ebm in a cup."

And for the fifth time, because bm comes from the breast not a cup. Again, How much time and effort do you think I should put into trying to convince or persuade you otherwise?

"Because we want to believe that if we dot every i and cross every parenting t our children will grow up happy, healthy and successful. We want to believe that we are in control of our children's destinies. Nothing could be further from the truth. You can do everything right and have a terrible result."

Sure, "you can do everything right and have a terrible result." However, you still did everything right now didn't you?

"If I were you, that's exactly what I would be asking myself. Then I'd give myself a break and go outside and be silly with my kid."

But that's exactly what I *do* DO.

"You're the one who claims that there's a difference. Once again, show me, using supported facts, because your unsupported opinion doesn't mean a hill of beans."

Show you what, that there's a difference between bfing and ffing, between SAH and WOH, between an unmedicated birth and a medicated birth? Are you serious? You want me to prove to you that there are differences between these choices? Isn't this just plain ol' common sense? Well, ok here are some links for you, not that I expect you to actually read any of them.


http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/bottle_culture.html

http://www.breastfeeding.org/newsletter/v1i3/page1.html

http://www.foxbeingthere.com/titles.htm#Table%20of%20Contents

http://www.familyandhome.org/policy/childcare_debate.html

http://www.fulltimemothers.org/ccres.htm

http://wywy.essortment.com/daycareinform_rwyy.htm

http://www.bygpub.com/natural/natural-childbirth.htm



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 2:58pm
"I agree with the entirety of your post. But ESPECIALLY this: You can do everything right and have a terrible result. You can do everything wrong and have a wonderful result. Some of it is in our control, but much of it is not, and bf/ff, epidural and other fleeting choices like them don't make a whit of difference in the long run."

So basically what you're saying is: there's no reason to even try, especially when there's no guarantee. Now that's a great attitude to have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 3:10pm
I love the nature intended it that way argument. Lots of things are natural that aren't good. My dd just had her broken arm surgically set and pinned. I guess I'm a bad mom because I didn't just yank it back in place and let nature take it's course. Where people get that things have to be the way nature intended is beyond me. Nature goes for survival of the fittest. I'll take a good orthopedic surgeon for my dd thank you even if it isn't natural.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 3:12pm
<> Excellent summation, counselor. Such posturing works really, really well before a judge and helps increase billables, I'm sure, but it doesn't win over a jury. You are a litigation partner in a Manhattan law firm, right, and all that that implies! You do not get offended by little earthy-granola, AP-parenting, extended bf-ing Momofhk, OK? I just don't believe that and I can't see why you would claim that above. She is certainly not "obnoxious and judgmental" and "condescending" as you pretend above. I never progressed above mere underling/associate in Manhattan, but it took me like a yr to learn that people like Momofhk are not obnoxious or intimidating! Why posture? Surely you have seen much more offensive people in court?

What really gets to you is that Momofhk has parenting ideals now, she had them before she even brought a child into this world and she sticks to her ideals. You can ask for the 100th time why bm is better from the breast than the cup. I still don't buy that the entire La Leche League propaganda has passed you by! It is called bonding and maintaining the milk supply. It is the reason bf'ing moms are so disappointed when their newborns are placed in the NICU. It is the same reason people look down on the parent who props up a bottle for the baby to drink alone in his bassinet. I'm not surprised she has given up on trying to repeat over and over why the breast is preferable. Forget billables for the moment and accept as I have that there are moms out there who have researched their parenting choices (whether before or after the baby is born), they live by their ideals and their children will benefit. I could never do what AP parents swear by. But, I will allow that they are likely bonding with their children by co-sleeping in ways that I am missing out on. I give them credit, I'm not going to pretend they have absolutely no basis when the research may bear them out.

<> Momofhk has done an excellent job of debating here. This board is full of opinions, controversial weak studies, some anecdotal support, but few facts. The MIT analytical debates board has a different website.

<> Maybe that's why you make your parenting choices. I make my choices based on what I understand to be best - not what is known to be second-best. If I'm told children with a ft sahp is best, I'm there. Although I would've been happy ff'ing, I bf for the first yrs. Unlike you, I don't approach parenting as a results-oriented game. I refuse to leave it all to the Wheel of Fortune and say, I'm just going to go ahead with making myself happy because whatever I do, if my child ends up in jail, I couldn't have controlled it anyway.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 3:20pm

Have you ever figured out the psychic cost of trying to be the perfect mother and live up to your ideals?


Of course I try.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 3:22pm
You can say it a million times, heck, even a trillion times that bm that comes from a breast is better than ebm. You are still wrong.

You haven't proven any point other that you are very good at posing your opinions as facts. And your opinions are not facts. They are SIMPLY opinions AND wrong at that. Those of us who live in the real world deal with real facts. Not "because it sounds good to me" opinions.

I think your "time and effort" should be spent showing real research and data that shows bm "is waaaaay better" than ebm. Until then, like I said, you can say it a gazillion times and your still wrong about ebm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 3:23pm
So you've never accepted second best for your children?

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 3:24pm

<>


Um...juice does not come from a cup either...exactly how does the juice get into the cup?

PumpkinAngel

Pages