If you hadn't had kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
If you hadn't had kids...
1649
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 7:27pm
Yes, I agree bonding *is* bonding. Of course, *natural* bonding is *natural* bonding and *artificial* bonding is *artificial* bonding.

"Unless of course you are suggesting that your dh's bond isn't as strong as *your* bond with your dd."

Yes, eventhough I didn't suggest it, I would agree with that. Yes, I'd say that my dh's bond isn't *quite* as strong as my bond. I carried her for 9 months, I delivered her, I bf her for over 3 years, I have SAH with her for 7 years, I have homeschooled her for 5 years, etc. Sure, his bond is very strong, but mine is stronger. Eventhough he has put in an incredible amount of time and effort, seeing as he's a WAHD and all, I've simply put in more. Now, ask me again when she gets a bit older, say 18, and we'll re-evaluate. I'm guessing that the bond will become much more *equal* the older she gets.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 7:31pm
"I know what is best as well, and I'm not only doing it, but I'm doing it AND supporting my family financially. When you can say that get back to me."

But I don't *need* to support my family financially, nor do *they* need me to?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 7:41pm
<> it's probably the equivalent of a child studying the bible (oops, i mean Torah) in hebrew, learning to read it, then learning to chant it, then learning to do it from the original scrolls without the vowels....then leading the entire congregation through the whole saturday morning service. yup, my 12.5 year old handled it quite readily.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 7:43pm
it does enter the realm of totally ludicrous, doesn't it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 7:45pm
artificial bonding? The only difference between the two is in *your* mind* not the actual bond with the child. Because, if you lined up and spent time with children not knowing their backgrounds and *all* had a healthy attachment to their parents there is no way that you would know any differences in the bond. Nor would the child. All the child would know is that they love and are attached to their parents.

And as far as you being a legend in your own mind to your daughter...... Moms have a way of setting the situation up to say the bond is stronger with the mom. Somehow makes them feel more important. I had no insecurities with my husband having just as strong of a bond with our ds. I bf, cosleep and sah. My ds is just as bonded to my dh. It can work that way if you *let* it happen. Some moms just need to think their more important than dads. But it's so much more healthy to share an equal bond with the dad.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 7:45pm
"I am constantly amazed by the number of children performing above grade level. I'm beginining to think that grade level is a minimum standard and not an average standard."

Absolutely, hence the reason behind *why* we homeschool. But actually, I really can't take the credit for educating her, she more or less educates herself. I simply facilitate the process by helping her to gather materials and such, and by following her lead. In other words, it wasn't me who thought she needed to learn how to write to 100 in Chinese LOL. It was completely her interest. Kids are absolutely amazing!!! ALL of them have something special to share.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 7:46pm
i'm sorry. i could have sworn that it was you who stated that my daughter's summer camp that was from 9-3 was all day, every day.

i must be getting senile as i thought we had a long, long, long discussion over it on the other board.

don't worry. a contortionist has NOTHING on you, LOL.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 7:48pm
"No one said going natural was easy! If you want natural and we follow YOUR theory,"

But you aren't going to follow my theory LOL.

"she better start working on her sucking muscles. Or she should stick to oranges."

And why is that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 7:49pm
okay. THIS one wins for the STUPIDEST post of all....now there is such a thing as "artificial bonding"??? what the hell kind of bonding is that??? an all-time low -- even for you.

FWIW, this crib-using, dc-using, ft-wohm, bottle-feeding mom can't for the life of me figure out how my bonds/attachments with my kids are ANY less real than yours....artificial? what a freaking joke.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-02-2004 - 7:50pm
"it's probably the equivalent of a child studying the bible (oops, i mean Torah) in hebrew, learning to read it, then learning to chant it, then learning to do it from the original scrolls without the vowels....then leading the entire congregation through the whole saturday morning service. yup, my 12.5 year old handled it quite readily."

That's really cool!!!

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