If you hadn't had kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
If you hadn't had kids...
1649
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 7:38am
And if Bm is not "naturally available" from the breast, what sort of

"artificial" means would you employ to feed your child? Would you take an herbal supplement? Would you consider that artificial or natural? Would you use a pump to stimulate the milk production? Or is that artificial? Would you use a SES system? Or is that artificial? Or is it only artificial if you use formula? WOuld you use donor milk? or would that be considiered artificial? Would you use a wet nurse? Not artificial, but definitely substitute care.

If you couldn't breastfeed, what would you do?

Janet

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 7:56am
The human race has survied thus far without anyone giving a thought to whether or not a child was experiencing "optimal bonding and attachment". The healthy degree of bonding and attachment result from being part of a healthy functionning family. If direct effort is required to achieve these...something must be wrong.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 8:03am
Oh, it has nothing to do with *natural* = *artificial* and has everything to do with *natural* NOT = *better* and *artificial* NOT = *inferior.*

But you and I had this stupid conversation months ago and I can see you're still stuck with your idiotic theories. So, rather than beat my head against the wall with someone who uses fuzzy logic to support her "theories," I'll just sit back and chuckle and enjoy the show you're putting on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 8:04am
The child who will experience ultimate bonding and attachment will be the one who is ff by a non-parent as well as being fed (whatever way) by a parent. First...this child gets to bond and attach to more than just parents. Parents are unique - but they aren't everything. Other relationships have alot to offer a child. Second, this child understands the difference between parent and not parent in the first place. Meaning...this child is developing the ability to apprecite what is special and unique in the way parent relates...a child with only parent in their life is not developing that appreciation, and if left too long, will not develop an appreciation for parent as special and unique - but will develop an perception of everyone else as "wrong". The healthy child/parent bonding scenario has the child understanding that this parent thing is unique, special and to be appreciated for that. The unhealthy child/parent bonding scenarion has the child operating under the impression (through lack of experience) that all adults will relate this way to the child and/or that something is wrong if the parent isn't there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 8:11am
If she's in school 6 hrs a day - she is being educated and cared for by not you. Whether you like it or not. It happens because nature intends it to be that way. Your child was designed from the ground up to learn from, and to accept care from, her community. You can't do a thing about this. Its not with in your control. The child is still existing and functionning even when you can't see her, you know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 8:12am
Oh please. That might be true if feeding were the only way to bond with a baby.I didn't ff and strangely enough, my children have bonds with people other than me.~Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 8:13am
I once knew a boy (10-ish at the time) raised that way. He was a demon for illicit sugar, salt and fat. If he could get it secretly (and at 10, he could) he would eat as much as possible as fast as possible.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 8:24am
I absolutely believe my dd's teacher this past year was a wonderful caregiver - on top of being a very inspiring teacher. My dd and I adored her so much that we actually requested her as a teacher for my ds. I was very touched at the end of this school year when she had sent home a scrapbook for each child. I'd say she is a caregiver - she truly does care!

BTW, I am so glad to hear you've no plans to return to work as a teacher. No child needs to attend school in which the teacher isn't there to educate - or care.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 8:33am
Don't forget the most important scorekeeping - the one that will be kept by her dd eventually.

Could you imagine the shock and awe of her mother if she decides to have a marriage and children and carry on a career at the same time? Or chooses not to homeschool? Or buys a crib and a case of Similac?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 9:50am
Try to keep to the point. However.

<>

But surely not OPTIMAL ones.

Pages