If you hadn't had kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
If you hadn't had kids...
1649
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 12:19pm
Actually I never did it either. I was fairly excited for dh to hold the baby. And for dd to hold ds. And the grandparents.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 12:21pm

I use to call my sister the Mother Gorilla because she would not put her first born down. No one could hold

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 12:23pm

Me either.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 12:34pm
Maybe that's what the whole thing comes down to.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:39pm
I think your hypothetical is a little difficult. If there were 10,000 studies saying it's best not to have a third child, I would have had my third child anyway because I know better and I don't give much weight to studies. Their outcomes can too easily be manipulated by the company funding them.

If not much difference between best and second best in the long run, then I guess second best would be ok to me. I disagree that sah and woh are not very different when it comes to children. I'm not sure about "the long run" and I support woh, but I think sah is the best choice when it comes to my children.

I honestly don't care how my friends, family and neighbors parent. I want mine "in the long run" to be Harvard-educated neurosurgeons. But I want to also live for the moment and make the best choices I can now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:45pm
There's definitely an element of over-protectiveness (is that a word?) in my sah. I think sah, especially with a newborn, is mentally demanding and stressful - not in a good, positive way like at a typical job. I don't know how another adult would have handled my children with as much care and gentleness as I was able to garner during the most difficult hours. It wouldn't be healthy for me to plaster my home with nannycams so I could go to work, would it? Working is better for more trusting parents, as I know lots of women here are.
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:49pm
Actually, I wouldn't use the word "logic" at all with most of her posts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:57pm
<> I don't. But like you I read, I speak with everyone I can, I weigh everything, and then make the best conclusion I can.

As a side thing, I bf each of my 3 for the 1st yr. I would've happily ff. But the AAP, everybody and everything I read, and even the formula companies said bf for 1 yr is best. So I did it. I still am not convinced it's best and I think in 20 yrs "they're" going to say, bf is just as good as ff. But, I weighed everything and hope I did what's best for my children.

Even if I were raising children a generation ago, I know I would've opted out of smoking and strapping a child to a chair for potty training, just because of my common sense. The other things may've been arguable, but I can't say.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 2:42pm
Great post! I totally agree with everything you said, especially this:

"Who said it was the exact same? I can see why you like her, you don't see the point either. The point being choices are choices....just because I choose to do something other than how you raise your children like ptwoh or bf a shorter amount of time...doesn't make me or my child better or worse than you....just different."

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 2:43pm
I loved sharing my boys with others. If someone wanted to hold them, then they had that honor. No, you're not strange at all.

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