If you hadn't had kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
If you hadn't had kids...
1649
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 5:05am
my daughter has learned some polish words from her friend next door -- and both my kids can ready prayerbook hebrew (as opposed to being able to speak it in conversation)...

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 5:10am
the scrapbooking weekend is from august 5-8. my friend and i are leaving Thursday afternoon and will be back sunday. there probably aren't any spots left because the sign up was months ago -- and it sells out in minutes (honest!)...

here's the website if you're interested...http://www.dreameventsinc.com/

just click on the schedule and see if there's one near you. this will be my 4th or my 5th. at the last one i got 44 pages of our make-a-wish trip done.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 9:25am
Don't faint from the shock - I agree with this post.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 9:40am
"So did you artificially express the juice from the apple?"

No, my dd has never cared for apple juice. Apples yes, juice no. Go figure :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 10:04am

I think we have just

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 10:08am
"unconditional love, rules and limitations, consequences when necessary. MY "natural instinct" tells me that THESE are the things that kids need to grow and thrive."

Sure kids need all of these things, however I simply feel that I *personally* am the best person to provide, encourage, and enforce these things. In other words, I want to impart my ideals on my child *myself*. I simply do not trust that substitutes are going to do these things as I want them done.

Not only that, I strongly believe in consistency. I think it is best for children to have One Primary Caregiver/Nurturer who has a vested interest in them, rather than a large number of constantly changing and thus inconsistent substitute caregivers who do not. But, that's just me.

I grew up in full time dc/substitute care and it was not a pleasant nor rewarding experience for me. I'm not saying that it can't be pleasant and rewarding for some children, however according to statistics, this type of high quality dc scenerio is not very common. In fact, low quality dc situations like the ones I experienced, are the norm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 10:25am
"We all go into parenting with common sense and our ability to weigh the "experts'" opinions. But if I had the means and abilities, I would not knowingly chose second best."

I couldn't agree more!!! Call me radical and crazy, even militant if you like, but you can bet your bottom dollar that I will do everything in my power to do what is best for my child. Not only that, when and if I do "knowingly chose second best," (because clearly no one is perfect) I am more than willing to acknowledge the fact. In other words, although I "knowingly chose second best," by having a medicated birth (instead of an unmedicated birth), I wholeheartedly acknowledge that this choice was second best. Not equal, not different, but in fact, second best.




Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 10:41am
Jeez, PA, you really are a glutton for punishment, aren't you?! LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 10:48am
"If you couldn't breastfeed, what would you do?"

But I *could* breastfeed, as can the vast majority of women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 10:57am
It's hot and i'm tired...so here's just the facts ma'am...

FACT #1: I personally am the one to "provide, encourage, and enforce these things" with some "reinforcement" from our care providers.

FACT #2: yes, we imparted our "own" ideals, LOL. Of course they're the kinds of things that are SHARED by the overwhelming majority of GOOD people -- just like you and me. Our dcps/nannies/preschool teachers ALL were able to dovetail nicely with our "ideals".

FACT #3: consistency? ABSOLUTELY. that's why they've had ME as their MOM since the days that they were conceived. As for our caregivers, we've had PLENTY of consistency, but I'm not going to go through that all again. Changes lately??? NONE...dd in same preschool class for 6 years, nanny for 1 year, 1 home health aide for 2 years, one home health aide for 1.5 years....these are all people who love and adore my kids.

FACT #4: I'm sorry for what you experienced, but it is NOT the norm. I find it hard to believe that, by the luck of the draw, i've had more than 6+ POSITIVE dc situations. Thankfully, my children and those of all the kids that i know have had MUCH more positive experiences in dc.

eileen

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