If you hadn't had kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
If you hadn't had kids...
1649
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 2:28pm
Thanks. i guess i give 110% to each of my children. yup, i'm a 330% gal!!!!

ROFLOL.......

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 2:28pm
I'm feeling snarky again. It took you six days for that answer? Why can't you put yourself into someone else's shoes? Imagine yourself as a person who had trouble breastfeeding, what would you have done?

Janet

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 2:36pm
Snarky....I like that word.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 3:03pm
"Infants and young children need their parents to provide the bacon."

I think this is the most simplistic and naive statement I've read thus far. BTW, my dd doesn't need me to bring home the bacon, her father provides more than enough financial stability and security on his salary alone. Why work for *more* bacon when you've already got plenty? How much bacon do you need anyway?

"So nature has created infants and young children such that they can thrive in the care of other than parents. They were positively designed for it."

I don't think so, unless of course you think that the low quality care = thriving? You do realize that the majority of dc/substitute care situations are in fact, low quality right? BTW, I hardly think that nature designed for low quality care.

"On the other hand, nature has created parents such that they need to feel like they are spending their days in some endeavour that is directly related to the well being of their children. Which means, if a parent isn't busy aquiring the bacon, said parent will define whatever it is this parent is doing, as extremely important for their children's well being."

So what you're basically saying, is that *you* think it's pointless to have One Primary Breadwinner and One Primary Caregiver/Nurturer then? Hmm, eventhough my dh brings home plenty of bacon, *you* think I should focus on bringing home even *more* bacon? Why? Because *you* seem to value *more* bacon? What if I don't see the value in having *more* bacon? What if I happen to see *more* value in focusing on, shall we say *less material things*? What then? Are you honestly suggesting that the *only* needs that need to be met here, are financial needs? What about social, emotional, physical, and developmental needs, etc? Do financial needs somehow supercede all other needs? I don't know about *you*, but *I* want *ALL* of my child's needs to be met, not simply her financial needs.

"This is where the option of having as much bacon as possible cooked specifically by Mommy...becomes important. Its important to Mommy...not baby. Not so Mommy can feel bonded, but so that Mommy can feel useful."

Oh, so according to *you*, Mommy's primary purpose is to bring home the bacon?? Sorry, but that's not *my* purpose, as it is neither necessary in our situation, nor is it fulfilling or rewarding to me. Therefore, IMO, Mommy's primary purpose is to be the Primary Caregiver/Nurturer. In other words, it all depends on what you value. I happen to value *time*, over *money*. What do *you* value?







iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 3:08pm

What if your DH could no longer bring home the bacon?


Do you think all dual WOHP families use low quality care?

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 3:12pm
"I still like Momofhk! I think the reason everyone keeps questioning her is there is merit to many of her arguments."

What, there is merit to many of my arguments? You don't say :)

"The stray, flamebaiting poster here could not keep a debate going the way Momofhk does."

Absolutely!!! There's a big difference between someone who's simply attempting to get people riled up, and someone who actually believes in what they're saying.

"She truly believes in being a great mom and making informed choices. Too many of us moms have become jaded and forgotten many ideals we had that last trimester of pregnancy. I know I have."

Yes, I DO, and yes WE DO!!!

"Momofhk is a treasure and continues many ideals we've lost."

Wow, what a nice thing to say. THanks!!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 3:12pm
Hot off the presses: 9 year old preferred her second trip to the Exploratorium. 6 year old's favorite was the baby frogs (and she was afraid of the butterfly exhibit a month ago).

Also, I can't remember where you are, but if you liked the Exploratorium exhibit, you'll love the Liberty Science Center, especially the top floor.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 3:20pm
"I don't give much weight to studies. Their outcomes can too easily be manipulated by the company funding them."

ITA!!!

"If not much difference between best and second best in the long run, then I guess second best would be ok to me. I disagree that sah and woh are not very different when it comes to children. I'm not sure about "the long run" and I support woh, but I think sah is the best choice when it comes to my children."

I'd have to agree, *IF* there were not much difference between best and second best. However, clearly the *key* word here is *IF*.

"I honestly don't care how my friends, family and neighbors parent. But I want to also live for the moment and make the best choices I can now."

Yep, I also want to "make the *BEST* choices I can now."


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 3:23pm
"I don't know how another adult would have handled my children with as much care and gentleness as I was able to garner during the most difficult hours. It wouldn't be healthy for me to plaster my home with nannycams so I could go to work, would it?"

Nope!!! Bottom line: If you want something done *RIGHT*, you have to do it *YOURSELF*!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 3:28pm
"I cannot possibly be insulted by anybody on a debate board which is for entertainment purposes only. Sorry, I just don't take this that seriously."

Here, here!!!

Pages