If you hadn't had kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
If you hadn't had kids...
1649
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 4:33pm
I'm feeling a little de-ja-vuish!! LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 4:37pm

I have a friend that is a kindergarten teacher in one of the more rough areas of Nashville. She could tell tales that would break your heart. She had siblings (all named astrological signs) for the the last three years that came to school dirty, bruised and burned by cigarettes. The kids get put in state custody then somehow end up back with the mother. For her, yes it is a daily occurence.


I can not believe that you have never, ever come across an abused child in your professional life. Amazing esp. since you mainly worked with children.


Eileen might have better insight since she has been a teacher for so long. I just hear stories from my broken hearted friends that have these kids in their classes. One had a boy whose father kept inviting men over to party. The child would have to lock his door so the men did not use him. How sad is that? He is 12 and he is trying to protect himself from rape in his own home. He is still with his father, too even though it was reported.


"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 4:45pm
"My DCP is the "Godparent" for not just me but several kids at DC."

Well obviously, if she's a "Godparent" she would have a long term vested interest now wouldn't she? Biological relatives are not the only the only ones who can have a long term vested interest in children. Did you miss the part where I said parents, realtives, AND *close friends* which would definately include "Godparents"?

BTW, when you say "Godparent" do you mean that if something were to happen to you and your dh, that this person would take responsibility for your child/ren? Or by "Godparent" do you mean like an adopted sort of grandparent?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 4:57pm
Oh, OK. So "parents, relatives, and close friends" are acceptable to care for your children? I feel much more secure with my nanny's ability to care for my dd than either my FIL or many of my "close friends."
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 5:05pm
"For my dd yes, as she has never bled at school. Is this something that occurs on a regular, day to day basis? "

Hmmmm, maybe your dd just isn't very adventurous? Maybe the school doesn't allow them to do anything even mildly adventurous? My dd is climbing trees and chasing around outside every day. She'll climb anything given half a chance and she has plenty of chances since her group regularly goes for forest walks as well. She gets scrapes and "owies" quite often....nothing serious ever, but usually hurting enough to require a bandaid and a cuddle. Ds, otoh, has always been much more cautious and he has rarely gotten hurt. Given the fact, thought, that the children at his school play soccer on cement (it is a very small inner city school so no large parkland of grass), many of the kids end up with scrapes by the end of the day. My sister and I were also pretty adventurous and especially loved to climb trees and we did end up with lots of scrapes and bruises as well.....still some of my fondest childhood memories.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 5:45pm
"Uhhhh...when I was referring to Grandmothers I was referring to all tribal women too old to work in the fields etc. anymore. Not just biology. Biology was more of a foreign concept to the whole everyone takes care of everyone mentality. You need to do a little more reading"

Nope, no more reading required. I knew what you meant, and yes it's not just biology. IT's about parents, relatives AND close friends. Did you miss the part about close friends in my previous posts?

"Also, you have yet to answer my question regarding how your child spends her days at school. Does she partake in any learning and is she in fact schooled for the 10 hours a day you alluded to previously?"

Yes, group learning and socialization. Haven't I answered this already? And as for hours of school, do you mean actual learning time, or simply hours in school? Anyway, she goes to school for 6 hours but I'd say she probably spends maybe 3 or 4 hours at most in actual group learning time when you take out lunch, 2 recess periods, walking down the hall, transitioning from activity to activity, disruptions etc.

At home, she spends about 3 hours a day on homeschooling/unschooling activities during the school year, and about 6 or 7 hours a day during the summer and other breaks. So, all in all about 6 or 7 hours of actual learning time, but more like 9 hours if you simply count hours in school.

BTW, why are you so interested? Let me guess, you think I push my child too much? Sorry, but in our family homeschooling/unschooling is fun, as it's based on my dd's individual interests. In other words, it's not "work". In fact, it's very similar to camp, except year round. In essence, we feel that school provides her with group educational experiences and socialization, where as homeschooling/unschooling provides her with individualized educational experiences. Alas, I suspect there's nothing I could say to explain why we do what we do. But guess what, I don't need to LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 5:49pm
"Why does someone have to be a relative?"

They don't. Did you miss where I said parents, relatives, AND close friends? Hmm, seems you're not the only one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 5:55pm
"Oh, OK. So "parents, relatives, and close friends" are acceptable to care for your children?"

Actually, what I said was that parents, relatives, and close friends have a long term vested interest in the children, as compared to paid substitutes who generally do not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 5:57pm
Ok so she is receiving education from someone other that you. You clearly stated that she is neither being educated nor cared for at school and so I took that to mean that she was exempted from all the learning that actually does take place at school. Hey, if you want to be part of the "burn em out young" crowd that is fine by me. When my kids get off the bus, they do their homework, and then the go outside and play like normal 6 and 7 year olds. Of course....they can't speak or write any forms of Chines. Sigh
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-09-2004 - 6:06pm
While camp can be beneficial to kids they do not NEED to go. I was speaking of the need from my end though. I don't need camp as dc (I have in the past). My kids really enjoy camp and love going. But if we didn't have the money they would survive. They do not NEED to go to camp they WANT to go to camp.

Jenna

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