If you hadn't had kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
If you hadn't had kids...
1649
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 10:08am

Yes I did miss that....can you point out where you said that?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 10:21am
We were shell-shocked by the magnitude of it! We didn't see everything or even everything we wanted to see. In fact, while dh was in the planetarium with dd#1, I went out and took a walk in the park and ate ice cream with dd#2 because the sun had come back out and I was tired of being inside.

Family memberships to museums are usually a great bargain. We have memberships to our Children's Museum and zoo and get way more than our money's worth out of them. We also have a membership to a smaller science museum in my mil's town that has reciprocal arrangements with museums all over the country. We go to the Field Museum in Chicago and to all kinds of other places for free. What a deal!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 10:35am
"Yes I did miss that....can you point out where you said that? Here was the post I was responding to. It must be in an earlier one?"

Sure, it's post 1276. Here's an excerpt.

"I agree that parents aren't everything and that other relationships have a lot to offer a child. However, I think there is a big difference between parents, relatives, and close friends who have a genuine vested interest in a child, vs. paid substitutes who are merely paid to do so. In other words, clearly pay does not insure that a substitute will develop a genuine vested interest in a child."

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 10:50am
"My "paid substitute" is much better for my kids than my dad would be, and many of my close friends. "

How sad. You mean that your kids don't go and spend time with their grandfather? Why?You would think that relatives and close friends would be more likely to have a long term vested interest in your kids than a paid substitute. Tell me, do you think your paid substitute would continue to have a long term vested interest in your kids if she was no longer *paid*? In other words, is the long term vested interest *genuine* or based on a paycheck? Also, how *long term* do you think your nanny's *vested interest* will be? How long has she been with you? What kind of training does she have? BTW, how many dc/substitute care/nanny situations have you had since your kids were born?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:00am

My father is a newlywed and chooses to spend the vast majority of nights and weekends with his bride of about a year.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:00am
"within a few days ALL of our caregivers were/are "close friends"

Oh, I'm sure that they were. BTW, do you *pay* all of your "close friends" to develop a long term one-on-one relationship with your children?

"who have a vested interest in doing a great job of caretaking....OR are you implying that dcp can't have a "vested interest" in giving great care to each and every child that they are charged with caring for?"

I am saying that a *vested interest* is should bebased on a long term one-on-one relationship with the child, not simply a *vested interest* in caretaking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:02am
"Actually some of my relatives and friends do not have long term vested interest in my kids."

How incredibly sad that some of your relatives and friends do not have long term vested interest in your kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:08am
Not the OP, but my children have grandparents they will not know very well and it is sad. Why would I not let them babysit? Well, for one thing my MIL has stage 5 alziemer's and my fil's time is basically used up taking care of her. Sad? It's trajic. Not all of us are blessed with grandparents able and available to take care of our children.

Janet

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:16am

Don't I...someone from a debate board, not a

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 06-10-2004 - 11:26am

I really don't understand your logic about vested interest and limiting that to only close relatives, friends, and whatnot.

PumpkinAngel

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