If you hadn't had kids...
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If you hadn't had kids...
| Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm |
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?
| Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm |
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eileen
Small example (doesn't really have to do with volunteering, but it illustrates a point): this past Friday we had a memorial luncheon at our house for my mother-in-law. I have a 14 month old and I'm 31 weeks preg and my husband told everyone that the luncheon would be at our house and then promptly became too busy at work to do any of the prep (whatever!) leaving me to prepare for 30 people on my own. I thought that a few of my sil's were bringing dishes, but then at the last minute said they didn't have time so they offered money. Can't eat money! And money was not helping me make meals or shop or clean. See, time matters. I'm not saying that money DOESN'T ever matter, but there are A LOT of situations where the money doesn't matter a wit.
Meldi
Maybe it has something to do with expectations going into it - I certainly thought it was going to be incredibly hard and exhausting and not very rewarding at the beginning and was delighted to find I had been mistaken. I wonder, was your perception that you had gone through so much that was incredibly hard and exhausting and not very rewarding at the beginning to become an attorney that hanging out with your baby would be comparatively easy?
Jenna
Susan
To me the whole not getting it thing is full of disdain when applied to this argument. On either side.
Jenna
"How hard is it to understand that someone might want to SAH because they don't want to be away from their baby? Or becase they don't want to miss the "firsts"? Or whatever." I wouldn't have thought it was very hard until I started reading this board.
"You don't have to agree that it's necessary but you would really have to be a complete moron to not get it." Probably.
"And most of the women on this board are NOT complete morons." I absolutely agree.
"To me the whole not getting it thing is full of disdain when applied to this argument. On either side." Sure.
Edited 5/25/2004 8:56 am ET ET by cocoapop
I think that the undercurrent is the *anti* volunteer sentiment. The "it's just not for me." train of thought. "I'll give money, but not my time (or my blood!)" and maybe there's a thought that sahm's have more time on their hands (true if the kids are in school full time, I guess). Personally, I do find it kind of sad that someone can't find an hour or two to give back to the communtity...like fshw could sew for family AND some needy kids, just a little something. Like I said, volunteering helps keep taxes down (not that they are low or anything) but the less bodies there are, the more government subsidies are needed to fill the positions with paid workers or the programs fail.
Meldi
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