If you hadn't had kids...
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If you hadn't had kids...
| Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm |
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?
| Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm |
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If our children go to school rather than being home schooled I will help out there. Other volutneering, no.
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That's great, for now.
What if you ever need hospice services? Should you be entitled to the benefits of volunteers in your life, since you're not willing to return the favor?
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Dh & I became engaged, we mutually agreed that I would pursue the avenue of being a sahw. We didn't sit down and say, ok, if you are going to be a sahw then that means you have to cook, clean, do the laundry, and mow the yard. Dh has not in 14 years expected those to be my chores by default that I am the one that is home. We both live in the house, we both dirty clothes, we both eat, we both eat from the garden.
I do the domestic side because I am home, I can do it more easily & more freely because I have the time and no, I don't think he should be in the office all morning, out showing property all afternoon and walk in to cook a meal, throw a load of clothes in and mow the yard before dark. But at the same time dh doesn't expect in the sense of "expect" as you put it to come in and have all these things done for him. Over 14 years he has washed clothes, mowed yards, clipped weeds from the garden, and cleaned toilets. I didn't expect him to do it anymore than he expected me. We both live here, it needed to be done, he did it while I was busy with something else. Perhaps making a prom dress for a friend's daughter, throwing up from the flu, or out doing the marketing for dinner.
See? It is easy to figure out.
And *I* didn't give up being a teacher just because *I* had a child. In fact, I didn't *give up* anything LOL. I'm *still* a teacher as well as being a SAHM. In other words, I get to do *both*, eventhough I don't WOH.
"I'm still me, just with an added, major dimesion to my life. Becoming a mother changed me, but did not change every single thing about me."
I'm still me as well. However, as I have already pointed out, I didn't have to give up being a teacher in order to be a SAHM, I still get to do *both*. Becomming a mother changed me too, but again, I didn't have to choose between being a teacher or being a SAHM, I still get to do both.
"Working is an integral part of my personality, my ethic, just like being a mom."
Working is an inegral part of my personality and my ethic as well, however *paid* work is not. In other words, my personality and work ethic is not based, nor dependent upon a paycheck. Instead it is based on the idea of *unpaid labor*, you know, offering your time, energy, experience, and expertise for *free*. Call me crazy, but I simply prefer to work on a *pro bono* basis. Is there some reason why I should WOH, for *pay*, especially if my heart just isn't in it?
"I like to write and lecture and gain expertise in a certain professional area, in addition to drawing, playing dinosaur checkers, doing a puzzle and snuggling, like I did tonight."
And I like to teach (my own child as well as for a homeschooling coop) and volunteer in my dd's classroom ( I organize a volunteer art program for her class as well as providing one-on-one reading time for each child) in addition to reading, writing, art, music, etc.
Honestly the transition from *teacher* to *SAHM* wasn't dramatic at all. In fact, being a former dcp, preschool teacher, and elementary school teacher actually provided me with a good deal of hands-on experience with children of varying ages and stages. I really feel that my past job experience essientially prepared me for parenthood/motherhood in many, many ways. Again, eventhough I don't WOH, I'm still a teacher IN ADDITION TO being a SAHM. Just to clarify, I don't have to WOH in order to *work*, and I didn't have to give teaching just because I'm a SAHM.
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Not even if you dd needs you to?
PumpkinAngel
"we mutually agreed that I would pursue the avenue of being a sahw?"
What does that mean?
I understand what you are saying....not a life I could or want to
PumpkinAngel
I was surprised the site didn't have something about Episcopalians and lightbulbs - maybe, they'd have the butler do it. ;-)
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