If you hadn't had kids...
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If you hadn't had kids...
| Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm |
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?
| Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm |
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"Is there some reason why I should WOH, for *pay*, especially if my heart just isn't in it? "
No.
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Edited to add: My question pertains to SAHw/h, not SAHparent.
Edited 5/25/2004 1:05 pm ET ET by iaudrey00
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I guess I didn't find the demands of caring for a totally unpredictable 6 lb. infant who didn't care if I slept or ate and couldn't seem to go 10 minutes without interrupting me to be all that different from the demands of working for 3-4 totally unpredictable 180-lb. partners who didn't care if I slept or ate and couldn't go ten minutes without interrupting me, LOL. And DS had the advantage of being a hell of a lot cuter!
What did I find rewarding about the first three months? I could have lived without the occasional blocked milk duct, but other than that, nearly everything. I couldn't believe how much of a personality he had already - I had been under the impression that he would be kind of a little randomly crying sleeping potato for at least 6 mos. I could not get enough of the feel of his skin or the little sounds he made or the look in his eyes when nursing. Or how relieved he would be when I figured out what it was he needed - even if that was sometimes after several frustrated hours of trying, LOL. I loved watching him learn or imitate new things (Hey! That arm is attached to ME! Check THAT out!) and still do. I loved wondering what he was thinking. I could have cared less that we had no schedule - that just meant that we could do anything at any time, and if it wasn't going well, we'd try something else. Really, I found just about everything rewarding. I was often busy and tired and sore and usually smelled faintly - or not so faintly - of spitup, but always kept it firmly in mind that as my pediatrician told me, "No baby ever died of crying" and that it wasn't personal that he was doing so. As such it was just not miserable or even particularly stressful for me.
I don't like it that there are people out there who feel no compulsion whatsoever to volunteer in SOME capacity or another in their community (assuming they are above water in their own basic survival) but I also think we need to consider the term "volunteer." If it isn't a choice, it isn't volunteering. If the only reason people volunteer is to Pay Back some help they get or will get, that doesn't make for the best motivation. I volunteer because I have been blessed with so much more than others and I want to share. I also really enjoy most of it and I like improving my community. I don't do it to hedge my bets that someday I may need care in kind. I actually hope I never have to get back that which I have put in.
Just my two cents.
"I had been under the impression that he would be kind of a little randomly crying sleeping potato for at least 6 mos"
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