If you hadn't had kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
If you hadn't had kids...
1649
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 2:23pm
You are welcome & let me say, I've enjoyed this. I love to see how others think, how others live. Again, thanks for your kind post and FTR, I really have enjoyed debating this with you and I greatly admire & respect that you have what you want out of life, as do I.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 2:25pm
Well, one of us had to be bringing home a check since neither of us were born into wealthy families. But no, I didn't expect dh to support us. He could have easily said I want you to bring home a paycheck and then I would not have been a sahw. I love him, I would have then worked. It may not have been my first and ultimate choice, but we all do things for love.

Is the concept of a sahw or a woman who wants to be a sahw just out of the realm for you to understand?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 2:26pm
I've explained this repeatedly & clearly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 2:28pm
My dh was 22, not 18. I was 18. We married because we were in love just like any couple marry at any age.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 2:28pm

ITA. It wasn't the "I don't want to ... I don't like to." of FSW and LTB's posts that surprised me. It was the "I don't know anyone who does." What? That shocked me.


It was further shocking, and also mildly disturbing, to see the blindness on the part of FSW to the

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 2:29pm
yah
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 2:31pm
Actually, you haven't... or rather your answer from what I gather is that you two didn't give it much thought.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 2:36pm
Hmm. Ok. Here we go. We fell in love. We became engaged & we decided mutually that I would follow my dream and be a sahw, working to pursue my personal interests that would benefit us as a family & let me be who I am as an independent person (my creative side as in designing/sewing clothes, gardening, gourmet cooking). Had he not wanted a sahw or to not be the only one of the two of us bringing home a check then I would have put my talents (same as listed above) to use for a paycheck.

We did give it great thought as to how we wanted our lives to be, we planned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 2:40pm
Hollie. In thinking of volunteering in terms of soup kitchens, hospitals, nursing homes, the red cross, march of dimes, no I don't know anyone and if that surprises you then it will just have to surprise you. (If any of my extended family or friends do volutneer in these ways, I have not heard them talk about it even in reference of what they will be doing on Monday or definatley not in more detail).

School, church, yes. I was thinking (as I've stated) more on the lines above in roles.

I'm not blind to volunteering around me. As explained above. I also did not say that they have no effect on my life. I said, volunteers were there, although I did not SEE them when I was in the hospital. I'm sure if I go in the library and pull a book from the shelf I may have utilized the help of a volunteer. I said that.

I don't think of volutneering as bad & sorry you got that impression which is wrong. I highly respect those who do volunteer. It is not something that is right for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 2:41pm
"My youngest has NEVER taken a bottle (Other than the preemie nursers from the hospital that she had to use while transitioning from a feeding tube to the breast). She is 2 years and 3 months old now and is still nursing."

Good for you!!! That is excellent.


"I WOH 3 days a week until she was 18 months old and BF's her without the use of bottles. She did, however, take sippy cups of EBM at meals while I was working. While I was working & pumping, I nursed her an average of 4-6 times a day on work days and 5-7 times a day on home days & was able to pump out over 5,000 oz of BM. Even after I decided to SAH, she still drank frozen EBM until she was 2 years old. I ran out of frozen EBM about 4 days after her second b-day"

So basically you used a *sippy cup* instead of a *bottle*. BTW, is there really that much of a difference? The point I'm trying to make here, is that expressed bm that is frozen and thawed loses some of it's valuable nutrients in the process. In other words, bm from the actual source: no pumping, no expressing, no freezing, no thawing is BEST. And for the most part, SAH is more advantageous than WOH when it comes to bfing on demand from the actual source: no bottles, no sippy cups, no pumping, no expressing, no freezing, no thawing, etc.

"Even after I decided to SAH, she still drank frozen EBM until she was 2 years old.

WHy??? Btw, how many months/years can you actually save frozen bm?

"And, yes....I have other children. When Evie was born, I also had a 14 month old & a 28 month old. Most women would have thrown in the nursing towel right off the bat....Evie was 8 weeks early and our nursing relationship got off to a rocky start. Having two additional toddlers in the house further complicated the situation, but as I proved, it CAN be done all while WOH."

So how long did you bf your other two children? BTW, I think you are the second person who has shared the bfing experience of only *one*, rather than *all* of their children. Why is that? What about the others bfing experiences? Do tell.




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