If you hadn't had kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
If you hadn't had kids...
1649
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 3:49pm
OK, gotcha.

One of my (SAH) neighbors just gave birth to baby #4 two weeks ago. She looks for all the world as if she's never had a single child. How annoying, LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 3:49pm

I think all your points are predicated on your last point.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 3:55pm
I know that....but the original question was posted to HER in relation to her never-having-worked-outside-the-home-regardless-of-child-status.

Hugs,

Bridget & Ethan (5)

Avatar for my2bestboys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 3:56pm

How would you know if daycare is impersonal if you have never used it?


 

Avatar for my2bestboys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 4:00pm

I agree with you.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 4:02pm
"Because some people actually ENJOY those tasks. I love being a mother. I love influencing my children, raising them, playing with them, etc. But I did NOT enjoy changing diapers or sitting for hours in the same spot while ds looked at a toe."

Are you really suggesting that there are people who actually ENJOY "changing diapers or sitting for hours in the same spot while ds looked at a toe." Come now, if YOU don't enjoy these things, why do you think a susbstitute/dcp would enjoy it? Also, clearly there are good AND bad aspects involved in parenting. In other words, it is not all fun and games. Furthermore, it isn't as if you can simply dump the bad aspects off on a substitute. It just doesn't work that way. THere are good AND bad aspects throughout the day, not just good when you are around, and bad when you're not. In other words, although you do get to *escape* some of the responsibilities while you are away, you also miss out on some of the *good* times as well. Likewise, although you may get to a substitute to take over some of the responsibilities, such as changing diapers for you while you are away, you still have to change diapers at home, you know when the substitute isn't around.

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That is not caring for an infant. That is reading and researching.

I never said it was. This was a response explaining how and why I was intellectually stimulated by motherhood and caring for a young child. Apparently, you took this statement out of context.

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Ummm, you can get that parent-child interaction while WOH

Sure you can, but clearly paretn-child interaction isn't as much of a priority now is it, especially if one spends 40+ hours away from their children by choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 4:06pm
My dh & I did put a great deal of thought into marriage and we also still do on a day to day basis. You are so right & thanks for coming up to the plate to say it!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 4:08pm

Yes, I'll probably even have another "try" with the next one (sigh).

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 4:08pm
Well, I just don't know how else to say it for it to be any clearer to you than it already is. While I'm doing what I wanted, what we wanted for our marriage, I wouldn't code it as a life of leisure as you have put it. In a perfect world a life of leisure would be having someone to clean the toilets for me.

All of it has been our plan. Our.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 4:08pm

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Actually, IMO, being a SAHM is more similar to being the judge and jury than an attroney.

Hugs,

Bridget & Ethan (5)

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