If you hadn't had kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
If you hadn't had kids...
1649
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 4:53pm

1 "Because I think that children should come first, not second, or third, or fourth... "

By WOH, I'm putting my whole family first.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 4:58pm

"Furthermore, it isn't as if you can simply dump the bad aspects off on a substitute. It just doesn't work that way. THere are good AND bad aspects throughout the day, not just good when you are around, and bad when you're not. In other words, although you do get to *escape* some of the responsibilities while you are away, you also miss out on some of the *good* times as well."


I guess you just don't understand my perspective.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:05pm
"Suffice it to say that for many, we can work and STILL enjoy motherhood."

Ahh, but would they STILL enjoy motherhood if they didn't WOH, you know if they were to SAH full-time instead LOL? I only say this, because in reality, there ARE mothers who treat their jobs as an *escape* from their children. In fact, if they didn't WOH and instead SAH full-time with their children, many of them would be absolutely miserable. This is a scenerio that I find quite appaling. I mean seriously, if you are miserable SAH with your own children on a full-time basis, why on earth did you have them in the first polace? BTW, not you personally, just in general.

"Going back to work says NOTHING at all about how much enjoyment one gets out of parenting."

Actually, IMO it DOES say something. It either says that she has no real choice in the matter, or it says that she gets more enjoyment out of her job then they get out of parenting. After all, surely most people would choose to do that which gives them the most enjoyment right?

Why else would a mother of young children WOH? Again, As far as I'm concerned there are two major options here: because she had no real choice and had to, or because she gets more enjoyment out of her job then she gets out of parenting. I guess what I trying to say here is if a mother really enjoys her children and wants to be at home with them full-time, she will do everything in her power to make it so. However, if she doesn't really enjoy her children and doesn't really want to be at home with them full-time, of course she would choose to WOH instead.

"And while you pay lip service to "several possibilities as to why a mother would change her mind about her working status after a child arrives", i have absolutely no doubt that you can't even begin to comprehend, let alone entertain, what those reasons might be."

Hmm, perhaps you could fill us in on just "what those reasons might be"?



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:06pm

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Hello?!?

Hugs,

Bridget & Ethan (5)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:07pm

"I

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:11pm

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So then, what *exactly* is the point of all of the research you do?

Hugs,

Bridget & Ethan (5)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:13pm

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Hugs,

Bridget & Ethan (5)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:13pm

"Hmm, while I appreciate your honesty, I find your ideas to be incredibly selfish and disturbing. Why have children if you "don't care to do it 24/7"? Whose responsibility is it to care for *your* children anyway, if not yours? BTW, why is it that you insist that my reasoning "that some mothers simply come to the realization that motherhood wasn't what they thought it was going to be" didn't apply to you again? Hmm, in all actuality, it seems as if my reasoning describes you to a tee. "


Luckily, it's not up to you if I parent my children 3 hours a day or 24.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:15pm
"Maybe it has something to do with expectations going into it - I certainly thought it was going to be incredibly hard and exhausting and not very rewarding at the beginning and was delighted to find I had been mistaken."

Absolutely, IMO it does have "something to do with expectations going into it". I had very realistic expectations, as you also seemed to have. In other words, I knew what I was in for and wasn't disillusioned by motherhood. However, I also knew I was in for some extremely rewarding experiences as well. Basically, motherhood is just like everything else. It isn't all fun and games. You have to take the good with the bad.

"I wonder, was your perception that you had gone through so much that was incredibly hard and exhausting and not very rewarding at the beginning to become an attorney that hanging out with your baby would be comparatively easy?"

I've been wondering about this myself LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:15pm

She stated that she introduced her dd to a sippy cup at 5months of age and the child then mastered it about 6 weeks later.

PumpkinAngel

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