If you hadn't had kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
If you hadn't had kids...
1649
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:16pm
I worked for so many years then about 4 years before we had our dd who is 2 now I quit work and my hubby said it was the best thing I ever did. He loved having someone home when he got there with dinner on the table and ready to meet his needs. In turn I got my needs met because I was not complaining about my day at work and I was ready to go for the night. I remember when I worked the house seemed to be messy-I was tired- always complaining-no time for me stuff. I just love our lifestyle and I feel fortunate to not work. If I needed to go back for some reason I would do it, but for now I will enjoy.

Trish :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:19pm
Does that mean you're in three digits?

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Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:21pm
My children don't ALWAYS come first. Sometimes dh comes first. Sometime I even allow myself to come first. I think parents who have thier kids always come first are creating spoiled rotten individuals who think the world revolves around them. Why wouldn't they? Their parents made sure they always did come first.

It is a mother's responsibility to make sure her kids are cared for. But there are other people who can care for them adequately. Does your dh ever care for your kids? How about other family members? Do you and dh ever go out and get a babysitter? I don't think neglecting your spouse in favor of your kids is a great decision.

Your stance on bf is ridiculous. Many many kids grow up perfectly normal without bm. I bf my kids exclusively when they were infants but it's really nobody else's business what a mother feeds her child. No harm will come to a child who has bm from a bottle or (gasp) formula.

How do you know substitue care is impersonal? My kids still keep in contact with our old nanny and she hasn't worked for us for 4 years. They love her and look forward to her visits. I wouldn't call that impersonal.

I think there are many benefit to SAH and WOH (having done both). There are also disadvantages to both. I think that the family's individual needs and temperments are what determines what is best for a particular family.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:22pm
Yes, yes you did!!!!!

Hugs,

Bridget & Ethan (5)

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:26pm
Not to long ago SAHMs were taken to task FOR volunteering. I guess you can't win.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:29pm

So I guess to be a "good mother" I should have filled my kids' sippy's with juice or water or maybe even beer.

Hugs,

Bridget & Ethan (5)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:31pm
"The ONLY reasons you cited was that a parent who had planned on SAH, but went back to work, was that either she didn't like motherhood, or that she loved work more than her children."

Yes, I did cite only these reasons, as this is my opinion on the subject. I simply statied that it was possible that other reasons existed, even if I couldn't understand or accept them. Does this clarify things for you?

"Do you really believe that motherhood is the same as SAH?"

Yep, LOL!!!

"I can understand a parent not enjoying SAH, a lot more than I can understand, "If you WOH you must not like motherhood at all."

Umm, that would be "If you WOH, you must enjoy your job more than you enjoy motherhood". There's a big difference between "enjoying your job more than you enjoy motherhood," and "not liking motherhood at all" LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:31pm
Haven't you ever heard that your never supposed to ask a woman her age or how much she weighs?

Hugs,

Bridget & Ethan (5)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:32pm

Congratulations you have found out what is best and works for your family.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 5:36pm

Do you not realize that different people have different interests?


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I enjoy sushi. My colleague doesn't. I enjoy puzzles. Xh hated them. Is that a hard concept for you?


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No chit, Cherlock. Think you're telling any mother anything new here?


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Yep. but there are sooo many of those good times to go around. My life is so full of them with my kids that missing a few isn't going to hurt any of us.


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It sure is. It simply isn't my ONLY priority. Gee, what could be a higher priority? Paying the bills for one; giving my children some independence for another; having a good time once in a while.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

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