If you hadn't had kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
If you hadn't had kids...
1649
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 6:35pm
I think i'll chime in too, as i love the ages of all my kids as well. we're past the hormones, and the two oldest are very independent, and the third is earning his independence everyday. i love when the boys tower over me and wrap their long arms around me. i dont know what it is, but boys just looooooove their moms, hands down, all the way. my dd is someone to be proud of as well. she and i have "girl time" where we talk about all the things girls love to talk about with their girlfriends. she is truly a lot of fun.(but when wasnt she??!!) i can talk to my kids on an adult level, and they "get it". even the youngest gets it.

i think this portion of the thread is a perfect example that "all" the stages of children are really awesome in their own right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 6:44pm
Jesus wasn't "human."
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 6:45pm
Or is that "Catholic Lite"? LOL. lauren and i are Episcopalian as well and we laugh about the "no guilt" thing too, but it is truly not our attitude, as we are very aware of right and wrong. i have tried other denominations but keep coming back to my own. im just most at home in the Episcopal church.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 6:46pm
Yup, that's a classic. Except we're also usually "starchier" as well as "lighter," LOL. (FTR I am an Episcopalian who brought DH over to the "light" side - does that make Catholicism the "dark" side, LOL?)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 6:47pm
<<>> that's funny!! i never heard anyone say that before! LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 6:52pm
I think where part of the confusion is in using the word "plan". I think that others are taking that to mean actually sitting down and discussing who will do what. But I think in many cases it is an unspoken "plan". When I became a SAHM we did not sit down and discuss our roles. But I assumed that since I would have many more hours in the home then he would that I would take over the major part of running the household duties. I think that he did also. I didn't take over those duties because I was a SAHM and that is what SAHM's do but because I was an adult who had much more time to do those things so it logically made sense for me to do them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 6:55pm
I'd say that you had a "plan." The part that puzzled me was when the poster said that neither spouse assumed that the sahw would do the stuff for the house. I would have thought, as you said, that they'd assume that the at home person would, in fact, take over much of the responsibilities of running the household especially since they didn't have any kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 6:57pm
Yes, that's probably it - the 60's definitely were not a big hit with my mom to begin with, and she would have been pretty much out of Methodism by then anyhow.

Funny story about the Methodist minister in our town - his father had also been a Methodist minister, and as you might expect it was not tremendously cool to be the Methodist minister's kid, LOL, so he went through a touch of a rebellious stage. Filling up the little cups of grape juice (sorry, don't know if there's a special name for them) was supposed to be part of his duties - well if the little bugger didn't get wise and decide to fill them up one day with grape JELLO. So all the proper little old Methodist aunties went up for communion only to find the blood of Christ all congealed and hitting them in the face and bouncing all over the floor, LOL. I wonder if they appointed a committee before deciding to warm that kid's behind, LOL!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 7:00pm
I'm the worst mother I was a SAHM who choose not to breastfeed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
Tue, 05-25-2004 - 7:02pm
That is absolutely right! We sat down & discussed things, we spent 3 years discussing things before we walked down the aisle. You described it to a tee of how the actual cleaning came to be. We didn't divide chores or decide you will be responsible for xyz.

You explained this great, thanks.

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