If you hadn't had kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
If you hadn't had kids...
1649
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 12:00pm
Based on your previous posts, it is painfully obvious that you view WOHMs as substandard parents, and WOH is even harmful to children. However, SAHMs can be inferior and neglectful parents also.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 12:00pm
I love this post.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 12:04pm
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While *I* didn't think it was going to be a day at the beach...I hadn't really been considering the possibility that I would be about as exhaused as final exam crunch...with no FINAL EXAM date in site.

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You know, something about such a huge % of women who ever existed, having done exactly the same thing under far more difficult conditions...kind of rained on the chance for me to stage my own personal "Oh imagine...I can create a baby" parade I guess. I wasn't that impressed with myself. "Oh, I am the only one who could possibly ever love this child enough to provide care" didn't happen either. Same sort of reasons.

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My Mom was a teacher for 46 YEARS. She taught Gr 1.! It was a full 4 years before we could identify her CAREER EXPERIENCE as in any way relevant to the care of GRANDCHILDREN. As my babies and their needs didn't approximate the case of a 6 yr old in anyway I could identify, I wasn't too surprised by this.

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Do you understand the need to find *refuge* or *respite* from other peoples children though? Anyway going to work to support the offspring produced isn't *escaping* from parenthood....its simply 'fessing up to the full range of parental dutie and responsibility. YOU aren't enjoying the ENTIRE experience of of parenthood (good or bad), if you aren't out earning money to support your child. I'm just quite capable and happy to take part in all areas of parenting. Probably, you aren't.

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Well either by WAH he provides YOUR respite...or by WAH he might as well be WOH. Which of your points do you mean to invalidate here?

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Well I CAN do it 7x24...I didn't find it particularily difficult being on maternity leave with one or two kids. And I don't find weekends and vacation or anything else particularily difficult. I dont' even find working while raising them particularily difficult. However, I just don't need 7x24 to do the parenting thing well. So I see no reason to ditch my adult responsibility to get busy providing some bacon...rather than leaving all that up to someone else and living with the resulting decreased standard of living or income security. Whose responsiblity is it to provide for MY children - today and tomorrow - anyway, if not mine?


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 12:04pm

If you do not like the conclusions draw, that's OK. I believe the whole point of the book is that there were numerous points of view that propagated those early centuries, not only one.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 12:05pm
"f being bothered by the things I described makes me anti-Christian or a bigot, so be it." No. It does not. You are grossly mistaken if you took that to be my point. Of course you should be bothered by those things. Every person should, Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Atheist, every person. What IS unfair and IMO bigoted is to blame a RELIGION for those things. The HATE which lead to it is the problem and what we ALL should be combatting, NOT some particular religion (or absence thereof). Just like IMO, it is nothing but wrong to tar "Muslims" with blame for 9/11. That was done by *terrorists*, and I have no use for those who cannot see the distinction between "Muslims" and "terrorists" just because those particular terrorists happened to claim they were Muslim. (And it would not help to say, "well, not ALL Muslims are responsible for 9/11" any more than it would to blame "men" for 9/11 and then say, "well, not ALL men are responsible for 9/11.")

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 12:07pm
How's this: I have the job of my dreams -- only two people do what I do in this entire state and when I applied for it, there were 165 applicants. I know I want to do this job as long as I can -- I can't believe that there's anything more fulfilling and more flexible out there. When I had my kids, I got 8 mons off with the first one and 5 mons off with the second. I would have loved a full year with each at least, but that would have meant giving up my job for one of those people standing in line to get it. And now, when the kids are in school, the hours and working conditions are ideal. I can't imagine a more family-compatible and interesting and fulfilling job.....so there was a trade-off. The funny thing is though, although *I* missed the kids as babies, they absolutely thrived with their paid caregivers, made lasting bonds, and their lives were absolutely enriched by the experience. My job wasn't and isn't an *escape* from my children -- it's part of who I am as a person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 12:07pm
Why on earth is bm from the breast better than ebm from a sippy cup?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 12:18pm
Rubenstein does several things in this book that trouble me greatly: First, he negates the claims of Christ's divinity that are found in the Gospel writings (especially the Gospel of John) and in the epistles of Paul and others and turns the whole debate into a political issue; secondly he misrepresents Arius -- if you actually read Arius' writings, he doesn't negate the divinity of Christ at all. Arius says that Christ was God's only son, that he had a divine per-existence, but that he was created by God and not-co-eternal with God. Finally, he is over-optimistic in his claims of Jewish-Christian co-existence before the fourth century. If a reader didn't know that there was a multiplicity of early Christian understandings and voices, then this book is illuminating. Unfortunately, if you do know something about the era, you'll immediately begin picking out the errors in the interpretation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 12:19pm
I know OTBM. We chat and we've met and I've met some of her family.

I wouldn't trade her toe nail for all of the posters who would denigrate her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 12:32pm
I call you lucky for having met her. But I'm still president of the fan club.

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