If you hadn't had kids...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
If you hadn't had kids...
1649
Thu, 05-20-2004 - 10:34pm
And your dh made enough $$ to support both of you comfortably, do you think you would be working?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 05-26-2004 - 11:19pm
Gee, I don't remember. Was there a botched abortion? Venereal disease? Wife swapping? International travel? Graphic descriptions of some guy's genitalia that ended up sounding pretty cheesy even to the sheltered tenth-grade virgin mind?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 1:20am

Dd had to have *formula* in the hospital because she was underweight and my milk didn't come in for a few days.. am I a bad mommy too? LOL


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 6:43am
You are definitely not anti-Christian. As a country, we are too Christian right now. I say this as a church-going (well, I try anyway) Catholic. It's exactly the way I've been feeling since well before 9/11, going back to Jan. 2001 to be specific. Our conservative, born-again Christian President is creating an environment in our country which gives license to the angry, directionless person (probably teenagers) to paint Swastikas and put burning poop at a Rabbi's door.

*Bush's faith-based initiatives - he's given millions of our tax dollars thru the Dept. of H & HS to Christian organizations, including Pat Robertson's

*Bush's speech at Bob Jones UNiversity (bans interracial dating)

*Bush wanting to amend the COnstitution to ban gay marriage

*Bush's appointment of the 11th Cir judge as a reward for support of that Alabama Sup. Ct. Judge who posted the 10 Commandments

*the war in Iraq

I just don't understand how any non-Christian in our country can even feel comfortable in their own skin these past four yrs. They'd be justified in not paying taxes! Some Christians are even demanding Bush do more in exchange for their money. So, it's great that you've raised this issue and, don't leave angry and exhausted. Go to the Current Debates board instead!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 6:47am
Do you have any photos of your bags and things on-line? I'd love to see them. (Then I'll send you a photo of my DD's curtains - 1 more panel to go!)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 7:02am
I've thought of that comparison too, but concluded law school was the worst experience of my life. What do you consider the age of a newborn to be, meaning when did things improve for you? I found the entire first yr to be pretty miserable, and things improved almost overnight at their first birthday.

My middle child was born in AUgust and will be 3. Will your younger son be 3 in August too?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 7:07am
<>

A dcp isn't a teacher. Have trouble saying what you mean? Or are you one of those posters whose debate strategy is to make up new stuff as required. Well anyway.

<>

Either you need refuge from children - or you don't. So you are either lying, or you're in denial.

<>

No, it isn't. Even when they say it is. Or even when you rephrase things to say that. Its s always part of parenthood. Not everyone is like you and needs to limit themselves to experiencing only one facet of parenthood. You are the one doing the escaping actually...in positive fact.

<>

No you aren't. My husband and I are doing that. You don't experience the entire range. Someone else can't experience it FOR you. This is remedial reality.

<>

Well if you are a Mother and you want to experience the whole spectrum of parenting and raising a child, you actually have to do that - go out and actually provide the bacon. If you limit yourself to just cooking it...you aren't experiencing any ENTIRE anything.

>>My dd didn't need more money, she needed one-on-one interaction with an ACTUAL PARENT (not a substitute) on a full-time basis, to be bf (on demand from the actual source) for 3 years until she was ready to wean herself, to be in her own home environment on a full-time basis (not a substitute dc environment), to be homeschooled by a parent that has also been a real teacher, etc.>>

No kid needs what you think your child needs, thats for sure. Mommy may be another thing. Curious though...why would you view any adult in your child's life who isn't a parent - as a substitute parent? Very odd view. Not to mention...limitted. For the child. And I'm sure for you too. At what age do you expect the child to outgrow this ... condition. At what age were you first able to relate to other adults as something other than substitute parents? Do you still hold this view? Is homeschooling about sparing your child the need to encounter "substitute" sibblings? So. Did you have a home birth? Cause if you didn't, I'm envisionning you raising this child in the neo-nate wing of the hospital where the child was born...so the child could remain in the (first and only) home environment she'd be able to handle. Apparently...adjustment is not your child's strong suit...and you've made it clear...you've accomodated that from the beginning...as a priority. Oh, and why would you subject your child to an education by any other than a "real" teacher. Which is apparently something you were to children in the past...but not to your own child.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 7:18am
<> I guess it depends on your definition of motherhood - is it more mom-related or more of the child's-perspective you're considering? Because I would have a completely different mothering experience as would my children if I worked a 9-5 gig. There is a huge difference in having unlimited time with children versus limited time during the work week.

<> Actually, I agree with that statment entirely. If my children turn out to be Harvard-educated pediatric neurosurgeons, I will take some of the credit and that includes in large part my influence during the daytime.

<> I've never loved work (and I used to be a lifeguard), just enjoyed some jobs over the yrs. You are very fortunate.

<> I agree. I sah, but not because I love it. I do it because I love my children, and that's the way I choose to mother them. When they were infants, the best I could hope for was to enjoy the day, not so much love it. I've heard some sahms IRL say they love it. I'm close, but not quite there yet.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 7:28am

Could you be more specific? We are talking Harold Robbins here, lol.


Actually, I think there was a teenage daughter who murdered her lover, who also happened to be her mother's lover. Plus lots of alcohol, cheesy sex, and some attempted blackmail involving photos of compromising positions.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 7:30am
Why would you give juice to a 5 month old?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-27-2004 - 7:43am
Unless they have changed the recommend age for starting juice is 4-6 months.

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