I'm New at This

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2007
I'm New at This
Fri, 06-27-2008 - 6:15pm
I have an 8yr old, 3yr old, and 6 week old. I have been working full time for the last two years at work that is not just "a job" but a real career I enjoy. This is the first time that I will be going back to work while still having an infant. We've hired a wonderful nanny who started right when I gave birth so that I could "see her in action". I am completely at peace knowing she will do a fabulous job. However, I still feel a pull because I know that I will never have an infant again. I'm afraid that I had enough time for two kids and a job, but what if I don't have enough time for three and a job? Can I do a good job at work, or will I be not as effective due to kid responsibilities? Am I making the right decision to go back to work? BTW, money isn't a real issue, I'm only 25% of the family's income, and it's mostly for things we don't need. Being at home these last few weeks is really nice, I love having the time to just cuddle with me kids, and be silly, but I don't think I could handle it full time. Any BTDT mom's with advice? I would really like advice on what it is like going back to work with an infant at home.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Fri, 06-27-2008 - 10:21pm

Hi -

There are a lot of women on this board that will have advice, I am sure, but it *is* a debate board. If you are interested, you may also want to check out the Working Moms board:


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Sat, 06-28-2008 - 7:52pm

You have to figure it out for yourself and know that as your kids age, you may make different choices. It doesn't have to be at home forever and it doesn't have to be at work forever. It doesn't have to be full time. People work part time and reduce hours too.

What I didn't see in your post is how your DH will also handle things. IME, for a family in your situation, whether a family chooses to have a ptwohp or sahp is determined by the flexibilities of each parent's job. If the primary wage earner's job is inflexible and/or requires a moderate to large amount of travel, then the choice is usually to have the other parent sah or work part time. Another mitigating factor is help from family/friends.

Plus, the more equal at home "stuff" is, the easier it is on both parents. I don't mean having to cut each chore, activity down the line at 505 each- I mean that each pulls his or her weight-overall- at home. One may do the shopping and cooking, the other may do the billing paying and laundry. That sort of thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Sun, 06-29-2008 - 12:29pm

Just do it and see how you feel.