The importance of "quality" time

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
The importance of "quality" time
3
Wed, 04-16-2003 - 1:43pm
Speaking of quality time, I've been thinking. I am reading "The Nanny Diaries" and am in total shock at the lack of love the mother in the book shows her child. She seems to want to spend no time with the child, deflects his hugs, and seems to consider him a burden. But when I read about the care he is getting from the nanny, I wonder if this kid is not so bad off. In fact, it seems this nanny provides better care than I do for my own 4 year old.

The 4 year old in the book doesn't watch television. My 4 year old watches way too much television. The nanny seems to pay all of her attentions on the child in her care. I have the burden of housework, volunteer opportunities, and the darn internet that takes my attentions away from my children.

The child in the book has a crummy mother and an absent father, but his days are filled with quality time (except they don't allow him to nap). My kids have 2 attentive and loving parents, but their days are only about half-full of quality time.

I've heard it said before that a child is better off in daycare than at home with a crummy mother. But what about a mediocre mother?

Jill

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-16-2003 - 1:46pm
Yeah, but the major problem is that whenever the boy gets too close to a particular nanny, they fire her. You can't get fired!! (and I've never seen anything that suggests you should be, either!)

If you spent 100% of your time with your kids, interacting with them, they'd just learn they were the centers of the universe. My nanny doesn't play with them every minute. Sometimes she lets them play by themselves. Who wants spoiled brats who have to have adult interaction 24/7?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-17-2003 - 10:18pm
Time is time...quality, or otherwise. Just washing the dishes with your child chatting with you, or not, is still time spent together. You don't have to interact all the time to make time with your children count.

Kat

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 10-17-2003 - 11:05pm
The problem is I'm doing dishes while the kids are either a) driving me nuts by taking the dirty dishes back out of the dishwasher and running away with them or b) in another room entirely driving each other nuts.

Perhaps you're right though, it may still count. I've noticed the baby (19 months) has started to imitate me in his little kitchen. It may seem like we are doing two differen things, but he is watching every move I make and learning from it.

Jill