Interesting

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2006
Interesting
27
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 11:20am
My step-mother's daughter-in-law was complaining that her cleaning woman only came in twice this week. Unfortunately, I really did not feel any sympathy but just listened. She is able to stay home with her 5 children, aged 12-3, and has this help. Of course, she is extremely busy running the house, caring for the children, driving them to activities, etc. Am I being insensative? No SAHM I know has any assistance but they are grateful they can stay with their children despite the incredible demands and the strain of having one income. I am a WOHM and do not have a cleaning person or any other help, as most of us do it on our own.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
In reply to: mom_lulu
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 11:49am

"they are grateful they can stay with their children despite the incredible demands and the strain of having one income. "


That is not always a given.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2007
In reply to: mom_lulu
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 11:58am
No you aren't being insensitive.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
In reply to: mom_lulu
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 12:11pm

So? Do you want one or are you just jealous that your step-sil has one?

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
In reply to: mom_lulu
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 12:29pm
OK.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
In reply to: mom_lulu
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 12:31pm

I think it's natural to want more of a good thing (if I had a maid, I'd love to have one every day of the week, too), but no, I don't think you're insensitive for not feeling like saying "Aw, you poor thing" about her situation.


A maid twice a week instead of every day.





iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2007
In reply to: mom_lulu
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 1:33pm

Gee, my cleaning lady only comes once a week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: mom_lulu
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 2:02pm

I remember my sil when her 5 children were 3-12 (the youngest is now a senior in HS).

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2007
In reply to: mom_lulu
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 2:16pm

Are you a sahm or a wohm? Just asking for perspective on your irritation.


I don't have a problem with anyone, wohm or sahm, using a cleaning service for any amount of time. I was a sahm for years and definitely could've afforded the service if I had wanted to, but chose not to. That doesn't mean I can't see the value of it, for sure. As for your step-sister-in-law (I think that's right? LOL) it would've been nice if she were more aware of how her comments could be construed and instead of being depressed about how 'infrequently' they came that she was grateful that she was in the position to have them come at all. And I'm guessing there was a chance that you sensed she was saying this to you more as a brag than a true concern? Anyway, I don't think you're obligated to be sympathetic and it was best that you let the conversation go.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2006
In reply to: mom_lulu
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 3:18pm

Do I think you were insensitive for not feeling sorry for her?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mom_lulu
Sun, 10-28-2007 - 3:34pm
I can see why you would not have felt heartbroken for her, but I do not find it particularly interesting that someone has cleaning help. Where I live it is pretty normal. Even my childless girlfriend who lives in a 1 bedroom apartment has a maid. We have had one pretty much since dd was born, as long as we could find one. At one point I had one twice a week, although I wasn't working much at the time, but we had many guests and it really saved a lot of hassle, worry and time to know that the house was always presentable.

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