Interesting take on SAH/WOH/parenting

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Interesting take on SAH/WOH/parenting
156
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 2:35pm

I don't entirely agree with everything the writer says here, but I do think she makes some extremely valid points. Thoughts?

::: I Hate David Dellifield. The One From Ada, Ohio.

This past week was Spring Break and toward the end, somehow my ex and my nanny fell out of the picture, and I was doing a lot of taking care of the kids, which, I have said before, is not what I’m great at. I wish I were. I tried for four years to be a stay-at-home mom, only to discover that I am not meant to do that.

So, in a moment of innocent desperation, I wrote on Twitter: ��No school today and the nanny's on vacation. A whole day with the kids gets so boring: all intergalactic battles and no intellectual banter.”

I almost didn’t post that Twitter because it’s so banal.

But, in just seconds, because that’s how Twitter works, there was a firestorm of men telling me that I’m a bad mom. Really. Yes.

Here’s one from David Dellifield:
“@penelopetrunk sorry your kids are a burden, send them to OH, we'll enjoy them for who they are” :::

.... and the article continues here:
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2009/04/13/i-hate-david-dellifield-the-one-from-ada-ohio/

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Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?

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Why hide your light under a bushel of bears, I ask you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 10:49am

<"kinder gentler sites?" like ivillage debate boards?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 10:58am

Heh.


I see nothing wrong with Facebook, as long as it's used properly.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2009
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 1:19pm

I agree that parenting is difficult, I agree that at times it can be boring. I don't enjoy watching the same Disney movies time after time, but my kids do.


I DO NOT agree that being a parent doesn't make you happy. I was happy before my children, happy being an adult and happy being able to do what I wanted when I wanted. However now that I am a parent I am even happier, it is true that I don't get to do what I want when I want anymore, and although I am still an adult most of my daily conversations have to do with making sure nobody has to go pee before we go out or telling children it's too cold to wear summer cloths. It's not exactly intelligent conversation but it is learning conversation. I will shape my children to be who they will be. I taught them their ABC's and 123's. That is, any parent will tell you, one hell of a hard thing to do.


Why not look at your children as a challenge only someone smart and grown up can accomplish, instead of as a burden or a bore. Teaching them EVERYTHING is not an easy task, uhhhh, but it is rewarding. Seeing your child walk, talk, feed themselves, do things we as adults do everyday with ease is special and feels great.


Seeing a whole new world through the eyes of a child allows us to be children again. For that brief few hours we are with them at the Zoo or playing with them and getting dirty in the back yard, we get to be children again. No one looks at you funny if your covered in dirt with your child. But if we take time out of our day to play without them people call the funny farm, it looks strange, an adult playing in the dirt. With our children by our sides we can play, we can get messy, we can forget for an hour about bills, dinner, work and we can just be kids again. That is something that no matter how much you may want it you just can't truly have unless you have children. As we become adults we forget how to play and learn how to be bitter and angry that we have to pay bills. Our children teach us just as much as we teach them, they learn their ABC's we learn to get messy and not care.


My children have made me happy in way I could never be happy without them. I don't think it's a matter of saying children make your life happier but that they make you happy in way's no one else can.


Crystal
Helping Moms Work At Home
http://www.MomsFreeTime.com

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 1:53pm

You make some good points, and I agree with you that rising to the challenge of teaching kids is very rewarding. However, I have to say as well that I have had absolutely no desire to play in the dirt since I was about 5.

BTW, if you do not edit out the link to your home business, your post will be removed for being spam.




Edited 4/29/2009 1:57 pm ET by rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2009
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 2:03pm

Well I'm sorry you haven't felt like playing in the dirt. You should try it sometime, if your kids are still young enough to have fun doing it I bet they'd love to have you get dirty with them.


Also the playing in the dirt thing was more for example. Play cars or GI Joe's with your sons or Barbie’s with your daughter. Make messy finger paintings, have an indoor/ outdoor water fight, sure the mess you have to clean up sucks but make it a game. After the water fight give the kids paper towels and tell them that whoever doesn't get their area dry fast enough gets tickles. Be creative and get messy. If your children are willing to do something (that isn't dangerous) you can do t to. Making a mess that can be cleaned up shouldn't ever be a deterrent.


Crystal
Helping Moms Work At Home
No Inventory, No Home Parties, NO Risk!
http://www.MomsFreeTime.com

Crystal
Helping Moms Work At Home
http://www.MomsFreeTime.com

Crystal
Helping Moms Work At Home
http://www.MomsFreeTime.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 4:00pm

i'm not saying those sites are unkind.

 

Community Leader
Registered: 02-06-2006
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 4:28pm

<>


But parents model tons and tons of behaviors to children on a regular basis that are appropriate for adults, but not for children.


My parents drove cars, stayed up late, watched rate R movies, drank alcohol, had sex (presumably, lol!), occasionally used a swear word, etc.


All behaviors no one wants their young child engaging in, but all behaviors that are perfectly acceptable for adults.

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2009
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 4:36pm

I gotta tell you =-I've been on Facebook for quite a while, I've not seen one derogatory picture, one innapropriate comment, and maybe one interesting debate that got a little heavy.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2009
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 4:45pm

I agree that a 9 year old should not be on Myspace, there are far more age-appropriate websites a child could be on, when having computer time.

However, I do not agree that the child is on it because the mom is on it. The child is on it because she wants to be and because the mom/dad allowed it. It has to do with the rules the parents imposes on the children, not what the parent does in there spare time. I spend some of my free time on this message board, but that does not mean I think it is appropriate for my children to do so. Even if they wanted to I wouldn't let them. That is the same with other activities they have asked me to do that I do not feel they should be able to do yet.

The last thing I nixed was makeup. I do not want my dd to wear makeup, even though she would like to. She is not asking to wear makeup because I wear it--I don't, except maybe once a year. But should I want to start wearing make up at any time daily, weekly, monthly, I will start and I will not feel guilty about doing so, just because I told a child under the age of 12 that they could not wear makeup.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 5:15pm

IMHO, that is what other kids are for. I see no reason to do things like that. But enjoy!

Again, if you keep posting links to your home business, you may get canned by the ivillage police.

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