Is it okay for a man

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Is it okay for a man
12
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 9:38pm

Does society judge men more harshly if they decide to stay home and have their wife be the sole source of income?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sat, 09-15-2012 - 10:26pm

 I do not know if is still looked down on in society as a whole. While there still are those that do look down on it I do not think those would be the majority. 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2011
Sun, 09-16-2012 - 8:20am
I think people do tend to judge men more harshly for staying at home with the kids, which is unfortunate because the overall trend with the economy is that fields that have been traditionally dominated by women (allied health like nursing, teaching, customer service, hospitality services) have become more stable by default with the woes of our economy.
Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 12:53pm
jamblessedthree wrote:

No, I don't think men are judged harshly for SAH, SAH isn't some exclusive to women thing, And like the mom, If he can do it and it works for the family more power to him. I actually like to see men at functions and meetings during the day that are mostly dominated by moms b/c they place out there fresh perspectives many women don't have, There are plenty of stepford female types that think and act the same and that gets real boring real fast, Blech. 

I think it's great when you see men at typically "mom only" functions.  We have a married couple on our PTO board, the dad is our VP.  He's very involved with his children and the school, and does not look like the type to be at all.  I love it when people break sterotypes.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 1:21pm

Yes I think they do get judged.  Now as a whole, it is a lot more accepted than it used to be and more people look upon it favorably.  I think attitudes have improved, but a lot of people still look (and talk about) men who do not have paying jobs and support their family financially.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2011
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 10:58pm

I think it depends on which part of society you're asking and what the dad does while he's home. If a dad is active with his own interests and just happens to have the kids he's not going to be judged in the same way as the guy who sits around eating bon-bons and waiting for his wife to come home for entertainment. 

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 10:44am
I don't know if it's society as a whole, but I know there were some people (mainly older people) who thought it was "great" for me to sah when my kids were little, but criticized my brother for doing the same thing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2011
Mon, 10-08-2012 - 10:42pm

<<I think it depends on which part of society you're asking and what the dad does while he's home. If a dad is active with his own interests and just happens to have the kids he's not going to be judged in the same way as the guy who sits around eating bon-bons and waiting for his wife to come home for entertainment. >>

But they might not know if he is doing anything productive or not.

I know many stay at home men and stay at home dads, but they are looking for work; have been unemployed for years now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Wed, 01-30-2013 - 2:07pm

This is a tough one.  I know my own husband and family would judge harshly any dad who stayed at-home.  I go back and forth on this.  I say, Whoever has the larger paycheck and can mentally adapt to SAH, then so be it.

OTOH, I've been at the PTO and "Mommy and Me" classes with the SAH dad for many years now.  I don't mean to stereotype, but there are some men who can't settle into staying at-home.  They want to run the PTO like a company, make "Mommy and Me" into baby boot camp with sit-ups and pull-ups instead of the disorganized chaos some earlier classes can be!  I'm not judging them harshly - just accepting more men are unable to fill the role than women.  Also, I don't think the SAH decision reflects badly on a man's...manliness.  Just shows his wife's paycheck is probably larger and I don't have a problem with that.