it's all in what works for your family

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2009
it's all in what works for your family
1353
Sat, 07-18-2009 - 6:38pm

I don't believe that children that have parents that work outside of the house are at a disadvantage... I also don't believe that children that have a parent that stays at home somehow benifit.

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 11:50am

I've had far more luck encouraging my dd to try new things than I had with the 1-bite rule. There was no huge drama; she simply wouldn't do it (or took such a miniscule "bite" that it was pointless).

With the prevalence of eating disorders these days, I think that getting into control battles over food is a risky thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 11:54am

Replace the two bite rule with any other house rule and if what you say is true, there is no way (outside of abuse, which we all agree isn't going to happen here) there isn't any way to force a child to follow any house rule.


I don't agree, through cooperation and respect both adults and children are willing to do things they don't want to do, without physical force or abuse.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 11:58am

then there's an underlying problem that has to be addressed before you can have any hope of making it work. if the kid *respects* the parents, he won't refuse--habitually, anyway.


i don't think that "rule" is the right term or framework to define this. for example, it isn't a "rule" in our house that one doesn't

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 11:58am

Oh it's much easier....because they have realized that the two bite rule is a very good rule to have, so they now it's automatic.

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 11:59am
No, you didn't answer my question. It's a simple enough question. What is the consequence if, after you remind him of the rule, your child does not comply? Reminding him of the rule every night until he finally does it is not a consequence--it's just nagging.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 12:02pm

I'm a bit lost here...where are you getting that the consquences are all the same, all the time?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 12:03pm
I don't get the whole sub-thread. It's not an issue in your house because it's not an issue in your house, for whatever reason. I am sure if it became an issue in your house, you'd evaluate why and respond accordingly. There are a whole lot of "what ifs" I have never considered because they haven't occurred to me to do so, because there's no need to consider them. I am way too busy dealing with real issues with my kids to have thought through what I would do if they suddenly started breaking a rule it had never occurred to them to break before.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 12:04pm

Again, please see post 281 for the answers or 297, 300 for more details and so forth.....


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 12:05pm

you figure out why the kid either doesn't understand why he or she should do something, or why he or she considers you so unworthy of his or her respect, and you fix the problem.


you and a few others seem to think that people who have raised their kids to have a respectful relationship with their parents are the authoritarians. to my thinking, it is clearly much more authoritarian to

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 12:05pm

Thanks for the info.


PumpkinAngel

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