it's all in what works for your family

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2009
it's all in what works for your family
1353
Sat, 07-18-2009 - 6:38pm

I don't believe that children that have parents that work outside of the house are at a disadvantage... I also don't believe that children that have a parent that stays at home somehow benifit.

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Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 1:25pm

It is the "prepared to enforce" bit I and others keep asking you about. If a gentle reminder did not work, then what? You never seem to have considered how you would enforce this rule in the face of actual opposition.

Of course I have had rules. However, before any rule was set, I carefully considered if it were enforceable and if so how it would be enforced.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 1:26pm

So then I'm really lost here....what are you disagreeing with me about?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 1:28pm
I think you have to know your kids before you set rules. Obviously a rule like that would never work with your daughter. PA probably had a pretty good handle on her boys and whether she'd be able to enforce a family rule like that before she made it. If it had proved unworkable when they were toddlers, she'd probably have adjusted it, just like you adjusted the one bite rule or whatever you had. Parenting is about 80% trial and error.
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 1:29pm
So, IOW, there are no consequences if the rule is broken. All you do is restate your expectation. In that case, it does not seem to be a rule, more like a guideline that the kids can and do disregard at times.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 1:30pm

Again, what I said was if they won't do it, again, it's just like any other rule in the house, they are reminded of the rule and expected to follow that rule...we don't have a lot of rules that don't have a point, perhaps that's why it's never been a battle?

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 1:32pm
Dh vividly remembers his parents keeping his sister at the table until she had eaten a certain number of bites of some particularly despised food. It took all night and she wept through the whole thing and peed all over the chair (since she was not allowed to get up).
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 1:32pm
That's what I thought, but I know of a person on a different message board whose kid ended up in the hospital because he would only eat Big Macs and mom and dad finally put their foot down and said no.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 1:35pm

<>


AGAIN, it's never been a battle.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 1:40pm

<<So, IOW, there are no consequences if the rule is broken. >>


No, that is false...however, iow...the rule hasn't ever been broken, pushed a bit yes....but completely and totally refused, no...so

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Fri, 08-28-2009 - 1:46pm

i guess this is where the line gets drawn

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