it's all in what works for your family

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2009
it's all in what works for your family
1353
Sat, 07-18-2009 - 6:38pm

I don't believe that children that have parents that work outside of the house are at a disadvantage... I also don't believe that children that have a parent that stays at home somehow benifit.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2009
Sat, 08-29-2009 - 3:03pm
I expect my children to learn something and understand why, but I also expect them to do as they are told even if they don't understand why.
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-29-2009 - 3:44pm
Different strokes. I'm not big on "do as you're told." I think it's okay (maybe even good) for my kids to make the wrong choice sometimes--they'll learn something from it and hopefully make a better choice next time. It's worked well for us.
Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sat, 08-29-2009 - 4:16pm

I agree with this. However, if you have a kid who does not cooperate easily, you tend to pick carefully what to demand obedience on. My idea is that if I issue an actual order, "you must eat one bite!" for example, then I better be prepared to make sure that the child complies. It also means that past a certain point, I rarely issued a direct order without having considered ahead of time how I would obtain compliance if it were not obeyed.

Seen in that light, certain orders become unworkable, the 1- or 2-bite rule among them. This especially holds with small kids. What I mean by that is that by picking carefully what to order, I was slowly able to establish that direct orders would result in compliance. But it took time and care, so picking things that were either not enforceable ("you must go to sleep now!") or else only enforceable by demeaning methods (for child and parent) were not likely to build up the compliance and respect of the child.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 08-29-2009 - 4:18pm

absolutely right,dress codes.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 08-29-2009 - 4:21pm
i shamelessly admit to LOVING brussel sprouts as a kid..my kids won't touch them,LOL.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 08-29-2009 - 4:23pm
of course it's taught,my dad was very strict about that at the dinner table...i OTOH am not.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 08-29-2009 - 4:46pm

this sub-thread gets me thinking.


i wonder how many families eat together as families.

 

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sat, 08-29-2009 - 4:51pm
Yes, that was part of my reasoning actually. It is more important, for me, that the kid understand that meal time is pleasant, that it is communal etc, than making sure she tries every food on the table or eats a certain amount or whatever. That said, exactly because the shared nature of the meal was an important point, we all ate from whatever was on the table. But if that meant dd only ate bread and olives (which were almost always part of the meal), for example, that was ok.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Sat, 08-29-2009 - 5:02pm

We employ the "taste it until you can claim you don't like it" rule. It's rarely used at the home dining room table where we eat as a family most nights. I am not an adventurous cook, so it's rare that I cook something entirely new that would be subject to the rule.

We do go out to dinner quite often as a family and we try a wide array of ethnic restaurants. In the past month, we've had dim sum at a Vietnamese one, tapas at a Spanish one. I delighted that they're game to try lots of different foods; it's a very rare occasion that one of my boys will order chicken nuggets for dinner at a restaurant.

My son and daughter liked the Spanish restaurant so much they got a tapas cookbook and plan to try some recipes for dinner soon (I may have to invoke the two bite rule for myself as I was not fond of some the food that they liked.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 08-29-2009 - 5:06pm
i needed a doctor to explain that to me,LOL but yes.

 

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