Judgemental-scratching-my-head post ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Judgemental-scratching-my-head post ...
682
Sun, 10-23-2005 - 2:29pm

Dh and I went to an Indian place for dinner last night. (GREAT!)


As we were about done with our dinner, a lady with her 5 kids, ages about 14 to 6,

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 6:30am

My children's preschool did away with field trips specifically b/c of the liability issue with carseats in private cars - now they bring in special performances, traveling educational groups, etc. My dd's school uses school buses for field trips.

I'm surprised that private cars are used for field trips in this day and age. With sue-happy Americans, I can't believe there isn't more concern with the liability.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 6:35am
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 6:38am
Do those buses have seatbelts? I think it is a complete double standard to advocate booster seat use for longer when one is willing to put their child on a school bus with no seatbelts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 6:38am

Our daycare/preschool doesn't do any field trips with the kids under school-age. Once they hit kindergarten and move to the school age classroom they start taking field trips. They also use vans instead of buses so there are better seat belts and its easier to do car seats if needed.


I admit, Callahan is 2 lbs shy of the legal limit for car seats, and although we plan on keeping him in his booster in our cars for quite some time, he doesn't use one when being transported from daycare to school. They go, literally, less than 1/4 of a mile and never go above 20mph (school zone speed limit -- in fact, as busy as our drop-off area is, they rarely get above about 10mph), so I feel the risk is infantesimely small. Dd, and the older kids, actually walk from the daycare to school, so it isn't an issue for any of them.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 6:55am
<> Exactly. And some are more challenging than others. Those are the ones we're talking about. The ones that don't necessarily respond to, "Well if my child did X, I'd do Y." Sometimes Y doesn't work. Sometimes Z doesn't work. It doesn't surprise me that you can't understand a child's embarassment or awkwardness over riding in a booster seat when their peers are not.
Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 7:00am
Yes, I know how it started. And I understand about 6 yos being in booster seats. However, we also segued into 8 yos in car seats. And I simply asked you a few questions about how you think your DD will react when and if she has to be in a booster seat at the age of 8. You also mentioned that your DD's friends who are not in booster seats have not teased her. What if they did? How would she react? Would she be embarassed? Or is she confident enough to not let it bother her?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 7:06am
Even people with the most confidence will sometimes get embarrassed. I don't get this whole,"if your kid is ever embarrassed you are not an effective parent." mentality. I have a 6 1/2 year old dd who still rides in a booster seat. Lately she has been complaining about it. She is still a confident child in so many ways. The seat does embarrass her a little though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 7:07am

It did change here (Indiana), just this year in fact. Until this July I believe that nothing was required by law beyond 3 years. The vast majority of parents I know kept their kids in boosters until they were 6 or so, but many let it go after that. This summer, the law changed to require them to be in appropriate seats or boosters until they're 8 years or 80 pounds (my dd could be in driver's ed by the time she weighs 80 lbs!) So we know a number of kids who have ridden without a booster for a year or more who had to go back to one this summer.

At any rate, for us anyway, it's not that anyone said it was babyish that dd still rode in a harness. It's more that people noticed it and made mention of the fact that it was because of her size, which didn't appeal to her. It's also the logistical difficulty of her not being able to go home from school with a friend, ride in someone else's car on a field trip, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 7:10am
Kinda OT ... ds isn't teased about his car seat or his size (not that I know of). But often, we're out and about and we'll run into someone I know from work, etc, or even just a stranger (often little old ladies) and they'll comment on how cute the kids are and will often say to ds "Hi there. How old are you? Are you 3?" and he barks back at them "I'm 5!"

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 7:15am

I'm sure we would have a conversation about it if it happened but really, the only people who even know she is in a booster or convertible carseat are kids who ride in our car. Kids who are her friends. Friends who might ask legitimate questions about why she rides in a booster/carseat, but it has never gotten to the level of teasing. Perhaps this is more of a boy thing. And in that case, I'm sure I will face that since my ds is very small for his age. However, there are such things as backless boosters that are much more inconspicuous in the car if he feels the need to be concerned about it.

Teasing is most certainly a fact of any child's life and they will have to face it at some point. I can't protect them from everything and I don't disagree that it could be an issue for them. However, with respect to booster seats, because it is something we are strict about from day one, and explain the importance of as soon as they understand, it is not something they question for themselves. What I usually hear is "why isn't so and so riding in a booster, Mom?" instead of "Why do I have to ride in a booster when no one else does?" Even if the question is the latter at some point, I'm pretty sure they will understand and accept the answer. If not, I'll deal with it.

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