The Juicy, Meaty Center of the Debate

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2011
The Juicy, Meaty Center of the Debate
10
Sun, 04-07-2013 - 11:10am

Here it is. Gloria Feldt, former CEO of Planned Parenthood, explores women in power through history and then decides that when women opt out of the workforce, they're basically betraying women everywhere and essentially undoing the important work of the women before them who paved the way. She explains that women have been demure and stupid about their rights and then it gets worse, we're actively and willingly hopping into the backseat to stay at home and care for our children and ruining it for everyone else. 

We've Come a Long Way, Maybe

What do you think? When a woman opts out of the workforce to raise her family, is she trashing our gender? Making it more difficult for the next woman who comes along? Does our will to power come with responsibility? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Sun, 04-07-2013 - 12:21pm

 I think that we have to be able to sometimes make decisions based on what is  best for us and our families.  not every decision we make should be based on what is best for the world.  So to me it does not matter if SAH is not good for woman as a whole or not. 

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Sun, 04-07-2013 - 4:12pm

Read Lean In..  I never thought it would apply to me (someone who chose to step out of the real work world 13 years ago), it's a better boost for all women than this!  But whatever turns you on, Lol. 

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2010
Mon, 04-08-2013 - 2:27pm

The last 2 paragraphs of that blog were written pretty poorly.  The rest of the blog was about history, then all of a sudden she skips to Rosie the Riveter and is writing vaguely about how now women leave, but they could leave for a short time and return but they don't.  Huh?

Anyway I get the idea and I do disagree.  I don't think most women quit forever if they do quit to sah.  And whether they do or not, to me Feminism is about doing what you want to do with one's career and if one wants to sah, then a women ought to be able to do that without criticism.  Women are autonomous and should be able to decide for themselves (and with their dh/partner if they are married/are a team) what is best for them personally and for their family.  We have come a long way and in these times, there are numerous options for caring for your family.  Men are sah, women sah, there is part time work and wah.  Many choices and I do not think it is sensible to expect women to make their personal decisions for the good of all womenhood rather than for themselves and their family.  

There are otherways to help women below you/younger move up etc, than just being an example.

“Clearly," said Arthur,"you're an idiot- but you're our kind of idiot. Come on.” 
― Markus ZusakThe Book Thief

Avatar for jamblessedthree
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2001
Mon, 04-08-2013 - 2:59pm
I agree with your entire post thardy. There's a whole chapter dedicated to the myth of having it all in Sandberg's book too which debunks any notion that we should teach kids that they can have it all, There will always be a trade off in every choice we make and denying that only sets kids up for a world that doesn't exist. I'd like to think that ONE OF THESE years (Maybe in my childrens' lifetime) it's not going to matter whether you work or stay at home as long as you're happy and satisfied in your element, In the meantime the debate goes on, Lol...

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Mon, 04-08-2013 - 4:49pm

Thanks Jamblessed.  CYE please.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Mon, 04-08-2013 - 10:29pm

In my teens and early 20s I was a "gender feminist," i.e. I thought men were the problem.

As I matured, worked, and made my way through my 30s and into my 40s, I realized that's not what feminism was all about. IMO, it was about defining my own potential, regardless of gender stereotypes or roles. 

Now in my 50s I am happy to let men be men and women be women and feminism is really about making choices for yourself. I'm happy women can decide it's OK to be mothers, stay-at-home or not, and not take it on the chin because they do something that comes naturally to them.

I'm glad a woman can decide she doesn't want to be a mother, as I did, and not take it on the chin for not fulfilling someone else's idea of womanhood. 

I'm glad a woman can be a mother and have her own identity as a person, rather than taking it on the chin because she doesn't match either traditional or feminist ideas.

In the end, I guess I have concluded that the whole purpose of feminism was to simply give women choices. Right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2002
Tue, 04-09-2013 - 6:20am

.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-26-1999
Wed, 04-10-2013 - 3:24pm

wisdomtooth2020 wrote:
<p>In my teens and early 20s I was a "gender feminist," i.e. I thought men were the problem.</p><p>As I matured, worked, and made my way through my 30s and into my 40s, I realized that's not what feminism was all about. IMO, it was about defining my own potential, regardless of gender stereotypes or roles. </p><p>Now in my 50s I am happy to let men be men and women be women and feminism is really about making choices for yourself. I'm happy women can decide it's OK to be mothers, stay-at-home or not, and not take it on the chin because they do something that comes naturally to them.</p><p>I'm glad a woman can decide she doesn't want to be a mother, as I did, and not take it on the chin for not fulfilling someone else's idea of womanhood. </p><p>I'm glad a woman can be a mother and have her own identity as a person, rather than taking it on the chin because she doesn't match either traditional or feminist ideas.</p><p>In the end, I guess I have concluded that the whole purpose of feminism was to simply give women choices. Right?</p>

I completely agree with this, having spent most of my 20's as a single mom, and feminist, going to school to get my degree and working my way up the ladder and proud of it, to now being in my 30's, a husband and 2 more children, realizing that while my goal used to be to stand on my own two feet, support myself and my kids and be happy, I am now just as happy to make the decision to want to step out of the workforce and raise those kids, because that is what will make ME happy and my family happy.  I am thankful for those that did pave the way before us to give us those choices, and that's my take on it, they gave us the right to make what choices we feel are best for us personally and our families.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2011
Thu, 04-11-2013 - 10:56am

Honestly, I could not care less about what my choice does to the gender-at-large. I work, or do not work, according to what my family needs or what I want. I think when some research shows otherwise, it is more detrimental than the prior facts themselves. These are my pre-coffee thoughts, but women, historically, were the housekeepers, the child-care providers, the nurturers. I think if a woman stays home to care for her family in any way, she cannot be trashing her gender. Maybe the current push to be 'equal' hurts it more? Be who you are and what you want to be and be proud of it! That is what I am teaching my children, and I have both boys and girls.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2011
Mon, 04-15-2013 - 6:02pm
Real feminism is understanding the biology, the sociology and the societal norms necessary to work within and change the system. I don't want a helping hand up, I can do just fine on my own. What I am grateful for are the choices that my generation has to do what I damn well please. :)
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