Kids as an "excuse" to stay home

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Kids as an "excuse" to stay home
1429
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 2:16pm

No one would likely ever admit to this...but what percentage of women who stay at home, and have no plans to ever return to the work force, or to do more than work PT...stay home because of the kids, but also for the major fact that they simply don't want to work?


I don't love my job every second, and there's definitely jobs out there that I don't think I could get out of bed for every day. But the idea of never working again, and being completely dependent on my spouse...kind of blows my mind. I realize not everyone's of the same ilk, and one's not better than the other.


I do wonder how many of the women who go on and on about how great it is to be home with the kids, are primarily just relieved to not have to punch the clock every day in addition to being mom.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2008
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 3:42pm

I agree, the thing is you can't ever make a comment about finances being tight when you SAH because somebody will throw out the "go to work" comment. If you explain that you've been there, done that and the money after daycare isn't enough to make it worth it....that's when you get the "shouldn't have 'em if you can't afford 'em" comment.


That is a vey interesting article. I can't imagine "no kids, no job" at such a young age. That seems like an option for only the wealthiest of women. I even scratch my head at a woman my niece knows; she's well educated and her hubby makes a ton so she

-Darri 41, DH 36, DD 21, DD 10, DD 9, and DS born 03/29/08

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2008
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 3:43pm

That's funny.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 3:53pm
I think this is one of those things where a sahm, say, during her first pregnancy, MIGHT think "YAY, now I don't have to work."
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 3:57pm
I'll admit it, I work because if I spent all day, every day with my kids we'd probably drive each other up the wall.
Avatar for 4thekids2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 3:58pm

Well I didn't stay home before I had kids so to me it's about the kids. I always intended to go back when the last went to school fulltime(for my kids 1st grade) but as that nears DH and I realize that me staying home as long as possible will work best for our family. If we had 2 even 3

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2008
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 3:58pm

"I'll allow it could

-Darri 41, DH 36, DD 21, DD 10, DD 9, and DS born 03/29/08

Avatar for 4thekids2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 4:02pm

I loved my job before

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 5:42pm

Not every person who SAH is "completely dependent" on a spouse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 5:50pm

<>

Actually, you're right, nobody should ever actually say things like that. I just meant that it doesn't make any sense to imply (simply because working would cost them money) that a family can't afford their children when they are clearly providing for all their own needs.

When Parent A says "I SAH because childcare was eating up most, all or more of my paycheck" and then Parent B says "Well you shouldn't have had more children than you can afford", that makes no sense to me. If they can afford to live on a single income, then they CAN afford their children. Now, if they CAN'T live on a single income, then yes, they had more children than they could afford. But why would anyone make a generalized conclusion that "WOH costs us money" = "We can't afford this many children"?

BTW, I'm not saying that you do this. I'm asking if anyone knows why some people do make this jump to conclusions.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 6:35pm

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