Kids as an "excuse" to stay home

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Kids as an "excuse" to stay home
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 2:16pm

No one would likely ever admit to this...but what percentage of women who stay at home, and have no plans to ever return to the work force, or to do more than work PT...stay home because of the kids, but also for the major fact that they simply don't want to work?

I don't love my job every second, and there's definitely jobs out there that I don't think I could get out of bed for every day. But the idea of never working again, and being completely dependent on my spouse...kind of blows my mind. I realize not everyone's of the same ilk, and one's not better than the other.

I do wonder how many of the women who go on and on about how great it is to be home with the kids, are primarily just relieved to not have to punch the clock every day in addition to being mom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Tue, 09-16-2008 - 4:32pm
Gag me indeed.

Yeah well, that's just, ya know, like, your opinion, man-The Big Lebowski 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 09-16-2008 - 4:56pm
Yeesh. What a ridiculous slam. I'm not a lawyer either. I know that men have every legal right to sue for gender discrimination (this is actually well known by non-lawyers) but neither I nor canadiantina can cite cases
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-16-2008 - 7:25pm

Hmm. I'm a practicing labor and employment lawyer, even -- wait for it -- outside counsel. Remember me?

The protected class is GENDER, not male or female. Similarly, RACE is a protected class, not specific races. Employers may not discriminate against a man because of his gender or someone white because of his or her race without violating Title VII (at a minimum).

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2008
Tue, 09-16-2008 - 7:35pm
Thanks for cutting to the chase and explaining for us slow... non-lawyers who were relegated to the short bus by Toots.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2008
Tue, 09-16-2008 - 9:05pm

How many men do you know that would be comfortable staying home keeping house while their wife earned all the income? Maybee a few?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Tue, 09-16-2008 - 10:11pm

<<"You've been unpersuasive with the whole notion that some moms have sah or woh personalities."

Let's just use me as an example. I don't have the patience to SAH. Yes, I could do it in a way that the kids would benefit, but a part of me would wither away. Debating on messageboards is not enough intellectual stimulation for me. I like making money. I'm just like your DH - I like to wheel and deal. It's not just the lifestyle I prefer - it's what I'm best suited for. Do I sound like a lot of SAHMs that you know?>>

Sadly, this is an area where SOME (not all) SAHMs will never understand. If they don't fall into our category, they will just never get it. To them, if you just don't have the personality to SAHFT, then you just should never have had kids.

Certainly, I have changed since having my child. I prefer to work PT instead of full time. But I still want to work. I just couldn't be at home all day, every day. I could certainly do it if necessary, but a big part of me would wither and die too. Even only working PT I insist on being challenged, and advancing my knowledge/career.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 7:34am

C'mon, jorvia.

Yeah well, that's just, ya know, like, your opinion, man-The Big Lebowski 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2005
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 8:20am

Good morning ladies,

As this thread has moved way off topic again, we are closing it to further posting. Please feel free to start a new topic when the topic starts getting into personal subjects again. We love to read your thoughts on different topics but please stay away from personal information.

I'm looking into a program for my kids to learn more about debating and the first thing they tell you is that you lose points for moving into personal information about the opponent. I don't want anybody to lose points.

Enjoy the rest of your day!