Kids as an "excuse" to stay home

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Kids as an "excuse" to stay home
1429
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 2:16pm

No one would likely ever admit to this...but what percentage of women who stay at home, and have no plans to ever return to the work force, or to do more than work PT...stay home because of the kids, but also for the major fact that they simply don't want to work?


I don't love my job every second, and there's definitely jobs out there that I don't think I could get out of bed for every day. But the idea of never working again, and being completely dependent on my spouse...kind of blows my mind. I realize not everyone's of the same ilk, and one's not better than the other.


I do wonder how many of the women who go on and on about how great it is to be home with the kids, are primarily just relieved to not have to punch the clock every day in addition to being mom.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 11:07pm

Come on Rhonda.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 11:10pm

Why are you being so nasty to everyone?

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2008
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 11:12pm
I was just wandering if financial reasons are the main reason why people say they work instead of stay at home if money was not an issue would there be any other
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 12:29am

"in support of the other poster's point"

Where did I show "support" of the other person's point? I did nothing of the sort. I *only* was responding to the tactic of belittling the opponent for a spelling/grammar/typo mistake.

I found it quite telling that the only posters that got called on their mistakes were those of the SAH "side"...and that no one pointed out the repeated misspelling of "schedual" from a WOHM. That's all.

"it would be nice if you debated any of the many things that we debate here"

You mean like whether or not one can get the Olympics with or without bunny ears? Or whether or not $90 is "expensive" for running shoes? *eyeroll*

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 1:16am
Again, I will ask you:
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 1:26am

"Why do you think the "SAH side" is personified by gl450mb and her opinion that SAH is about doing whatever pleases you and answering to nobody? "

I don't think that and never said I did.

Why do you think you know what I'm thinking when I haven't said anything to that effect? Is this a case of I have to agree with you completely, including your digs at the person (vis a vis spelling mistakes)? IOW, if I voice disagreement with your tactic then I must automatically nullify your point? I happen to agree with your point. Perhaps if it hadn't been the second spelling citation in 24 hours - admittedly not both by you - I would have kept my mouth shut (fingers off the keyboard?).

I've made my point, and rather than drag this on for another 100 posts about silly spelling mistakes, I'm just going to drop it now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 7:06am
WTH? How is it humiliating to have a child with special needs?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 7:09am
Are you here to debate the subject at hand or to debate debate tactics? Just curious.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 7:17am

There are plenty of reasons to woh besides financial reasons. The type of career - can it withstand a multi-year gap? The personality of the children- are they homebodies or extremely outgoing and need lots of interaction? What are the personalities of the parents? What are the experiences of the parents? I have a friend whose father abandoned her, her sister and mother, and she saw her mother struggle for several years to get back on her feet- she will always woh. The neighborhood one lives- are there many families at home with which to interact?

All in all once finances are out of the way, IME, the most important factor is the flexibility of the woh jobs and if one or both have to travel frequently. Some choose dual woh; some choose woh/sah; some choose both working reduced hours; some choose one ftwoh and one ptwoh.

"Not needing to work for financial reasons" is also dependent upon each family. Some view as having enough to pay current bills, other feel it is having enough for a vacation too, others add in college and retirement savings to the calculation.




Edited 8/20/2008 7:19 am ET by tryingtoquit
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 7:23am
She has disclosed it several times, but she doesn't have to say it over and over and over and over and over again. It becomes boring if on every single post someones says, "I am a single mom", or "I have 5 kids" or "I have a child with disabilities" or "I am gay". Just because someone doesn't mention it in every single debate, doesn't mean he/she is trying to hide it. It can get redundant.

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