Kids as an "excuse" to stay home

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Kids as an "excuse" to stay home
1429
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 2:16pm

No one would likely ever admit to this...but what percentage of women who stay at home, and have no plans to ever return to the work force, or to do more than work PT...stay home because of the kids, but also for the major fact that they simply don't want to work?


I don't love my job every second, and there's definitely jobs out there that I don't think I could get out of bed for every day. But the idea of never working again, and being completely dependent on my spouse...kind of blows my mind. I realize not everyone's of the same ilk, and one's not better than the other.


I do wonder how many of the women who go on and on about how great it is to be home with the kids, are primarily just relieved to not have to punch the clock every day in addition to being mom.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 8:54am

I also thought I'd add that I'm not sure how many employers dh has worked for, but he's been with his current employer for 22 years. In fact, his 25th anniversary there (which should give him a NICE bonu$) will dovetail with us celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary. We're already talking about using that bonu$ to go back to the caribbean (possibly where we honeymooned 2 years ago!).

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 9:20am
Excuse me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 9:23am

I'm sorry.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 9:24am

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 9:30am

Why does one need a valid reason not to stay at home with the kids?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 9:33am

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 9:36am


Just like you are new here too right ROFLAO :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 9:45am

Yes, I love what I do. And with only 3 dds, the availability to work on wedding gowns is severely limited at home. Same for clothing for reenactors. None of us is into reenacting and there is only so many costumes I can sew for Holloweeen and grandkids. Not to mention the space issue in our house.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 9:49am

I think for you, personality is the primary factor. However, I don't think that most personality types are the primary factor. I think they are a strong second.

Or perhaps you are right and I am only seeing the end decision. The personality that needs to woh, either consciously or unconsciously, makes sure that his/her job is flexible enough to work or marries a complement whose job/personality is more flexible.

Or maybe I am over analyzing the whole thing. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 10:04am

I think it's both. Starts with personality. People decide what their preference is. Then it goes to logistics---can they make it work? If one wants to stay home, they evaluate whether they can afford it, can they cut out cable or cell phones, etc. If one wants to work, they evaluate their current job, or potential other jobs, day care/nannies, to see if they can make it work for their families. If they can make their desired choice work, great. If their desired choice does not work (i.e. want to work, but job requires too many hours, no other jobs in the profession that have more flexible hours), then they make a different choice.

And in some cases, come on here and insist that no one else could have made the other choice work for their family, that anyone who made the other choice must just be so stubborn about their desired choice that they are not even considering the other members of their family. Or alternately, the same poster may argue that if it is not the selfishness and greed or laziness and irresponsibility of the person making the other choice that drove the choice, it must be that the person who made the other choice secretly wanted to make the same choice as the poster, but couldn't, either because they could not afford to stay home, or because they could not afford to pay for day care. One or the other, but never just that the person who made a different choice wanted to and found a way to make it work for their family.

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