Kids as an "excuse" to stay home

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Kids as an "excuse" to stay home
1429
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 2:16pm

No one would likely ever admit to this...but what percentage of women who stay at home, and have no plans to ever return to the work force, or to do more than work PT...stay home because of the kids, but also for the major fact that they simply don't want to work?


I don't love my job every second, and there's definitely jobs out there that I don't think I could get out of bed for every day. But the idea of never working again, and being completely dependent on my spouse...kind of blows my mind. I realize not everyone's of the same ilk, and one's not better than the other.


I do wonder how many of the women who go on and on about how great it is to be home with the kids, are primarily just relieved to not have to punch the clock every day in addition to being mom.


Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 10:05am

<Aren't all of you women there chasing the millionaires and millionaire wannabes there?... \>>


You watch too much television.


And yes, I am familiar with the mentality of which you speak. I couldn't or wouldn't marry such a man, and I'm quite sure such a man would have no interest in a woman like me,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 10:05am

I don't care if you want to debate the color of the sky, I'm just tired of your only input here being all about the debate tactics of others.

*********

Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 10:17am

<

Every man I met before I even had kids thought it was awesome that I wasn't on this feminist sexual independant hear me roar campaign feeling the need to work and that I was totally cool staying at home. Guys would tell hubby.."I can't believe she's actually choosing not to work" "My wife would never do that"...It's only women that I encounter issues with.>>


Why do you assume anyone is jealous of you? Seriously, are you that vain?


I'm really not on any campaign. I'm extremely self-motivated, driven, and would never be comfortable with someone else supporting me financially. I guess that's incompatible with femininity for some men. Of course many men

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 10:24am

"The personality that needs to woh, either consciously or unconsciously, makes sure that his/her job is flexible enough to work or marries a complement whose job/personality is more flexible."


....or enters a profession where he or she makes enough to hire an army of household help.

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 10:26am
Applause!

<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 10:38am

Yes, there are dual power couples out there. I see them too, but even in our high powered area, they are far from being a significant minority.

The majority of dual ft working couples (with children) I know have at least one working for the Feds (not Justice - they are workaholics ;) ),pseudo fed companies like Mitre, or teaching.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 10:46am

<

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 10:54am
They are broadcast but not everyone can receive them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 10:57am
I would go crazy if I were not either in school or working.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 11:05am

First, the comment you posted did not indicate to me that the men wished their wives were like that. My dh has said "my wife would never do that", and he has told me that the next thought, which he didn't say, was "thank God". He has also said a lot of very positive things to women who stay home, about their job being the hardest, etc. That is no indication that he wants the same for his own family. He and I discussed it before we got married. I wanted to either stay home and go back to law school when my kids were in school, or go to law school right away. My dh told me he preferred to share both the financial responsibilities and the child care responsibilities as equally as possible. While he expresses admiration for many stay-at-home moms who have a whole lot of well-behaved kids and an immaculate house, he pretty much expresses admiration for a whole lot of people--dual working families who have successful careers and great kids, single moms, single dads, stay-at-home dads with successful wives.

Second, even if we could confirm it was indeed a positive comment, why would we care? Last I heard, it's not a popularity contest. I do not need the admiration of random men, or even my husband's friends or coworkers. All I need to know is that my husband is on board with my decision, and my kids are doing well

Pages