Kids as an "excuse" to stay home

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Kids as an "excuse" to stay home
1429
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 2:16pm

No one would likely ever admit to this...but what percentage of women who stay at home, and have no plans to ever return to the work force, or to do more than work PT...stay home because of the kids, but also for the major fact that they simply don't want to work?


I don't love my job every second, and there's definitely jobs out there that I don't think I could get out of bed for every day. But the idea of never working again, and being completely dependent on my spouse...kind of blows my mind. I realize not everyone's of the same ilk, and one's not better than the other.


I do wonder how many of the women who go on and on about how great it is to be home with the kids, are primarily just relieved to not have to punch the clock every day in addition to being mom.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 11:42am
I would make you feel like a queen LOL....too much fun stuff to do worry about cleaning (that said we aren't gross.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 11:53am

The funny thing is....


I was the world's biggest slob growing up.

suzjuly6.jpg picture by LadyCaribou

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 11:56am
Both :) Seriously, you can't say I never contribute to the debate. Unless you cherry pick posts, I guess.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 12:01pm
I don't cherry pick anymore; neither my boys nor my DH will eat them. Same for raspberries, blueberries and black berries. Now if we are talking strawberry "picking" or apple picking...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 12:01pm

"I'm just tired of your only input here being all about the debate tactics of others. "

My ONLY input? Riiiight.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 12:09pm

"Am I a unique individual on this board? I don't love my job. I don't love working to earn money for the family. I don't feel that earning some of the income gives me purpose or identity or value or independence. I don't hate my job either, but I mainly do it because we pretty much need both our incomes to sustain our quality of life (which is not extravagant by any means but not struggling either). "

Traci~ Actually, you aren't alone. Those are pretty much my sentiments on why I work when I do or why I SAH when I do. I just think that if there weren't extremes (in any debate) then there really wouldn't be much of an argument in the first place.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 12:13pm

I was always an all or nothing kind of girl.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 12:13pm

That's funny about the chameleon thing, my dh is actually the same way. One of the things I really liked about him. I could take him to a pig roast and a symphony on the same weekend and he'd fit in perfectly at either one.

I couldn't tell if you were thinking our husbands were similar or different, but they actually sound kind of similar to me. The difference being that my husband has been aware of people's work status lately because it's been a frequent topic of conversation. When we socialize with my friends from school, everyone is talking about jobs or job searching. When we socialize with friends with kids, everyone asks how the kids are adjusting to day care, which leads into the conversation. But my husband is an equal opportunity admirer. If the kids are well-behaved and the house is clean, he thinks it's amazing that they can do all that while (insert woh/sah status).

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 12:14pm

There's an "argument" because posters like txmomma are asking, in 2008, why women who are mothers would not SAH if they didn't need the income their work provides.


Lots of people can't fathom working if their salaries/wages were not "needed," strictly speaking.


There are still plenty of people who ignorantly believe that childcare means your children are being "raised by strangers."


There are lots of people who can't imagine that $100,000 household income is really not enough to live on comfortably in certain geographic areas.


Yeah, I'm extreme in why I like to WOH, but there are some pretty extreme positions to counter.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 12:15pm

"I was the world's biggest slob growing up. "

OMG, there is hope for my 12 yo DD!??! Last weekend I *helped* her (read, did most of it myself) clean her room. I kid you not when I say we had about 7 WalMart bags full of GARBAGE, plus 2 boxes full of more garbage and junk to throw out when we were all done. I found 3 glasses, an empty yogurt container, a sanitary pad (ewwwwww!), and candy wrappers galore under her bed.

I hope she turns into you one day!!

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