Kids as an "excuse" to stay home

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Kids as an "excuse" to stay home
1429
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 2:16pm

No one would likely ever admit to this...but what percentage of women who stay at home, and have no plans to ever return to the work force, or to do more than work PT...stay home because of the kids, but also for the major fact that they simply don't want to work?


I don't love my job every second, and there's definitely jobs out there that I don't think I could get out of bed for every day. But the idea of never working again, and being completely dependent on my spouse...kind of blows my mind. I realize not everyone's of the same ilk, and one's not better than the other.


I do wonder how many of the women who go on and on about how great it is to be home with the kids, are primarily just relieved to not have to punch the clock every day in addition to being mom.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2008
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 6:41pm

What if all your dds commuted to college?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 7:03pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2008
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 7:12pm

I know it's a need, but still it's very generous IMO.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 7:19pm

Our set response if any of our children complained about not getting something that one of their sisters got was "That's because we love her more".


Lol, that's been our common response too.


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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 7:25pm

I agree.

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Ducky

Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 7:30pm

see I remember those things being more age -connected -- being 13 when I got my ears pierce d-- 15 when i got a 'record player" etc... but we definitely didn'tall get 3 of something.

and NONE of us got cars I can tell you that LOL

"If gay Americans are not allowed to get married and have all the benefits that American citizens are entitled to by the Bill of Rights, they should get one hell of a tax break. That is my opinion,"

- Jeane "Dear Abby" Phillips, in an interview with Lisa Leff.

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 9:41pm

So, I'm not sure what's wrong with not wanting to punch a clock? And what's wrong with working PT? Why is full-time work all of a sudden the "norm" or the "ideal"?

I switched to PT work a year ago and I love it. Honestly, I figured I'd go full time again eventually, only because I figure my company would make me. But truthfully, I'd be 100% happy working PT forever. So what's the big deal? Working 40+ hours a week and maintaining a household and maintaining sanity while trying to parent is pretty darned hard in my opinion. I don't see why anyone should idolize it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 9:47pm
You don't have to idolize me for working FT, managing a household, raising 3 children (youngest w/some developmental delays), maintaining my sanity but please respect my choice. Oh yeah did I metnion that DH works opposite shift (with 1 hr commute each way) and he is in grad school ft?
july siggy
august 09 siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 9:51pm
whenever my parents send some unexpected $ (they are notorious for making 6 months worth of student loans payments w/o even telling me) or go above and beyond the call of gparent duty (like when they took my 3 kids under 7 when I had surgery and was recovering) I tell them they are just making sure we choose a fancy nursing home for them :)
july siggy
august 09 siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2001
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 9:51pm

Okay, who invited Dr. Laura??

"I personally cannot stand the thought of paying someone else to raise my babies."

Daycares don't raise kids.

"wander if this applies if you have kids ship them to daycare to go to work to pay for the fancy boat you may use once a year in order to keep up with the Jones?"

Who are these Jones people? Seriously. If you think that owning a 2BR, 1BA, 1100 sf house with no garage is "keeping up with the Jones'" then I'm guilty.

"I am understanding to the fact that some have no choice and have to use daycare or other alternatives in order to support their families."

I don't really think you are understanding. Nope, not at all.

"I commend them because I am sure it is hard."

Harder than...?

"How many are willing to sacrifice their finer way of living and stay at home with their kids so not to miss their first word, steps, etc. "

What's the big deal about the first word or step? The first of a million? The first thing I hear/see is the first one that matters (for the record, my son took his first step while we were on vacation).

"I am a cosmetologist who made good real good money."

Really? $40/hour, $60/hour, benefits, stock options, bonuses...?

"As far as some being on welfare let us not forget that at a drop of a hat ANYONE could fall upon hard times."

Yes, but with close to five years of my salary banked, we could weather the hard times for...well...5 years?

"What is best for you kids should always come before your needs and WANTS. "

Yep, and what is best for my son and what is best for our family go hand in hand...financial security and a college education being big parts of it.

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