Kids as an "excuse" to stay home

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Kids as an "excuse" to stay home
1429
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 2:16pm

No one would likely ever admit to this...but what percentage of women who stay at home, and have no plans to ever return to the work force, or to do more than work PT...stay home because of the kids, but also for the major fact that they simply don't want to work?


I don't love my job every second, and there's definitely jobs out there that I don't think I could get out of bed for every day. But the idea of never working again, and being completely dependent on my spouse...kind of blows my mind. I realize not everyone's of the same ilk, and one's not better than the other.


I do wonder how many of the women who go on and on about how great it is to be home with the kids, are primarily just relieved to not have to punch the clock every day in addition to being mom.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 2:17pm

Well said.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 2:21pm

I guess I agree with pnj that *productivity* is what defines it for me.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 2:25pm

Sometimes they are the glue that holds a community together. They look in and visit elder neighbors and make sure they have a ride or take them to appointments. They talk on the phone every day for several hours during the months a friend is going through a divorce or mourning. They bake an "extra" lasagna and take it to a neighbor who recently had a baby. They follow up when the fourth person in a walking group misses a day or three in a row. They write letters to the editor about local issues. They go to Sue's house when she lost her mother and hug her for an hour and help her figure out the logistics of going home to a funeral. They match a family looking for a summer babysitter with the teen home from college looking for a job. They pick up extra groceries and laundry detergent for the harried parent whose spouse is on a business trip and whose three children have been puking the past four days. They let the neighborhood know when Mr. Smith is home from his chemo. They organize the spring neighborhood potluck or the neighborhood 4th of July bicycle parade. They are home when Johnny gets off the bus and discovers his father isn't home yet and panics realizing he was supposed to stay at school and go to chess club - they take Johnny to chess club.

They might not earn money and might not volunteer boatloads of time. However, they are there when they are needed and offer help and kindness and love.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2008
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 2:32pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2004
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 2:37pm

Beautiful post!


Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 2:46pm

< In better economic times, there are more SAHPs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 2:47pm
I agree it's a beautiful well written post, but did any of its content surprise you?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 2:49pm

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Fair enough.

2010 Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 2:54pm

I guess I don't see why someone has to "merit" staying home anymore than I can understand why someone has to "justify" working outside the home.

In fact, with all this talk of justification and merit, I am beginning to think this debate is taking on theological overtones!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 08-20-2008 - 2:57pm

I wouldn't consider your sister

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