Kids as an "excuse" to stay home

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Kids as an "excuse" to stay home
1429
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 2:16pm

No one would likely ever admit to this...but what percentage of women who stay at home, and have no plans to ever return to the work force, or to do more than work PT...stay home because of the kids, but also for the major fact that they simply don't want to work?


I don't love my job every second, and there's definitely jobs out there that I don't think I could get out of bed for every day. But the idea of never working again, and being completely dependent on my spouse...kind of blows my mind. I realize not everyone's of the same ilk, and one's not better than the other.


I do wonder how many of the women who go on and on about how great it is to be home with the kids, are primarily just relieved to not have to punch the clock every day in addition to being mom.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 10:33pm

>Our set response if any of our children complained about not getting something that one of their sisters got was "That's because we love her more". <

Ours was "You're not "insert name here".

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 11:04pm


How many women? Lots. They just would never admit to it. I know

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2008
Sat, 08-16-2008 - 11:06pm

"Daycares don't raise kids"


Not entirely you are correct. but i am sure that your children learn at the quality and standard inwhich you could provide.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sun, 08-17-2008 - 2:23am
There is nearly 4 years between them. Neither of them cares a scrap about clothing, other than having some that fit, so that may also be a reason. Also, they have always happily shared toys and stuff, so one child getting something usually meant that both got to have fun with it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sun, 08-17-2008 - 2:25am

"i think they were elated over their back to school finds that they totally let slip the rivalry that engages sometimes when i determine a buy for one but not all of them. "

I guess I'm just confused about the existence of such a rivalry. Neither kid has ever complained about any kind of purchase we made for the other or felt they should receive the same thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2008
Sun, 08-17-2008 - 7:31am

I remember with 10-speeds and stereos (or today I guess it will be

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2008
Sun, 08-17-2008 - 7:46am

Do you also think there could be "lots" of working mothers who hate working

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sun, 08-17-2008 - 8:00am

Hmmm, interesting. Purchases such as bikes, shoes, etc. have always been more about who needs what when then about making sure everyone gets the same things. Ds is 4 years older so clearly he needs a bigger bike, which might include more gears by the very nature of the size of the bike (in dd's size, bikes come, at most, with 3 gears). Somehow, dd has figured that out that getting ds a bike with more gears is no reflection of our level of love for him or her, it's just a matter of who needs what and what's available. Sometimes she gets more expensive shoes, sometimes he does. It's not based price but need: sometimes the shoes she needs are more expensive and vice versa Each gets what he or she needs, and since they are individuals with different needs they get different things.

Fwiw, my sister and I never had problems sharing a stereo or tv (I got a tv for Christmas one year, she got a stereo, we happily shared both). I wasn't at all resentful that my older brothers got cool bikes with loads of gears before I did. They needed their bikes to get to and from school, I didn't. When I did need a better bike for daily transportation, I got one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sun, 08-17-2008 - 8:08am

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sun, 08-17-2008 - 8:26am
You said it so much better than I did, thanks!

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