Kids as an "excuse" to stay home
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| Fri, 08-15-2008 - 2:16pm |
No one would likely ever admit to this...but what percentage of women who stay at home, and have no plans to ever return to the work force, or to do more than work PT...stay home because of the kids, but also for the major fact that they simply don't want to work?
I don't love my job every second, and there's definitely jobs out there that I don't think I could get out of bed for every day. But the idea of never working again, and being completely dependent on my spouse...kind of blows my mind. I realize not everyone's of the same ilk, and one's not better than the other.
I do wonder how many of the women who go on and on about how great it is to be home with the kids, are primarily just relieved to not have to punch the clock every day in addition to being mom.

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I would think choice, as college is not a basic necessity of life....but a life choice.
PumpkinAngel
Excellent definitions, imo.
And may I add
I think she is choosing to call that a necessity based on what is a comfortable standard of living for her. I mean, I think all of us sit down and weigh pros and cons and decide, yes, this is what I want out of life, and this is how I will structure my life in order to make what I want possible. People have goals, and they do what it takes to achieve them as long as the tradeoff isn't too high. We are planning on funding our childrens' college, and maybe even some other peoples' kids' college. But if I had had to work sixty hours a week to do that, I would have modified our goals -- because the tradeoff would have been too high. I would not be willing to work sixty hours a week to pay for my kids' college. On the other hand, if I had to work sixty hours a week to pay for my kids' medical treatments, I would have done that.
To me, a htwohp is one without whose income the family would lack minimally adequate food, shelter, clothing and insurance.
Other families and parents define "having to work" differently, of course.
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It's not a "necessity" the way food, clothing and shelter are, but for generations now, in my family parents have paid most or all of their childrens' college educations. I'm proud of that, and I have no desire to "break that streak" with my kids.
It can't be a necessity in the true sense, as my BIL and SIL will still be paying off their own education loans when my nieces are in college, so my nieces are SOL.
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"I would not be willing to work sixty hours a week to pay for my kids' college."
Assuming the only reason you were working 60 hours a week, every week, was to pay for that, and not because you also enjoyed work and were advancing your career.
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