Kids as an "excuse" to stay home
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 08-15-2008 - 2:16pm |
No one would likely ever admit to this...but what percentage of women who stay at home, and have no plans to ever return to the work force, or to do more than work PT...stay home because of the kids, but also for the major fact that they simply don't want to work?
I don't love my job every second, and there's definitely jobs out there that I don't think I could get out of bed for every day. But the idea of never working again, and being completely dependent on my spouse...kind of blows my mind. I realize not everyone's of the same ilk, and one's not better than the other.
I do wonder how many of the women who go on and on about how great it is to be home with the kids, are primarily just relieved to not have to punch the clock every day in addition to being mom.

Pages
" Does it matter if I'm WOH because I want to or because I have to?"
You know, no it doesn't matter. BUT...what does sort of rub me the wrong way is when I hear a parent say, "I REALLY want to SAH, but I have to work. We need the income." When the reality of the situation, based on the definitions Lois gave (because I happen to agree with those definitions of htwoh and ctwoh) they CHOOSE to woh. I'm not saying anyone here has made that impression, but people I know IRL have said that. And it still doesn't *really* matter, but man, it does bug me because I just feel like it's a passing of the buck, IMO. It's not accepting that it's the choices in life one has made that has put them in the position of feeling like they "have" to work -- when there are very real cases of parents who truly HAVE to work just to put food on the table and a roof over their heads.
Because most women do.
At what ages did your children enter dc?
Yes, you did read that.
Great that you live on one income.
Again, what does sah/woh have to do with any budgeting plan? If you spend more than you make, you are in trouble. If you buy more than you can afford, or don't budget for future inflationary constraints (like energy costs for your mcmansion or SUV), you're in trouble. If you hit some hardtimes due to health, layoff, divorce, or death, you are in trouble.
Is there some magical quality for the "moral highground" of sahdom that protects the sah family from these causes of financial failure? Because it appears that is what you contend.
What happens if egd's children are accepted into Harvard? A cautionary tale!
"Is there some magical quality for the "moral highground" of sahdom that protects the sah family from these causes of financial failure? Because it appears that is what you contend."
Not that it's magical, and it is certainly not a reason for moral highground...but when a family budgets and essentially gets used to living on one income, when one of those causes of "financial failure" arise, the sahp can always return to/begin to work. But I do believe my SAHdom was our financial safety net when we experienced a crunch due to increased gas, food, and cost of living expenses because I was able to return to work.
Did you return to work?
Pages