Ladies...Enough Already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Ladies...Enough Already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
779
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 2:10pm
Can we please voluntarily end this thread from grlimilakinskeeper, or whatever her screen name is...it's getting too personal, and not very productive.

Kat

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 3:12pm
oh, THERE's the type of nasty stuff you were talking about, LOL....As for my kids seeing their DAD, much of that is driven by HIS work schedule. however, i'll run through it one more time...he's here M, W and F mornings from 6-7 to get them ready for school. He's here Tues and Thurs. evenings from 6-bedtime and he stays to put them in bed. Then he has them every other weekend from Fri 7 pm to Sunday 8:30 pm. I'm not sure WHERE there would be more time for him anyway - as that's just about the amount of time that I have with them, LOL.

and NO, you're not an unfit parent, but i cringe inside each time I read how you're trying to limit and restrict his visitation -- and thus his role/relationship in their lives. Couch it any way you want -- the book, the smoking....it all comes down to you actively SEARCHING for ways to cut him out of their lives. You can protest it until the cows come home, but it is really quite easy to see - even for those that have not been privy to this saga.

and you are right. I think i need to put you on ignore now. as it's said, "no good deed goes unpunished".

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 3:49pm
LOL. Oh, it's ok when YOU do it but nasty when I toss it back, lol.

I just asked a question. If you're so hung up on equal access, why don't your kids have it? I have reason for my kids not to have equal access to their father. Namely his smoking. One way or the other, I hope to reduce their exposure. Yes, that means my kids won't have equal access to their father but yours don't either!! I have no idea why you're arguing with me on this issue.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 3:55pm
How is an ugly custody battle and the emotional trauma that they are sure to suffer as a result (check those statistics you love so much if you dont believe me) in their best interest?

How is actively trying to prevent a relationship between them and their father in their best interest?

And lastly, how is your anger, bitterness, and need for control of your ex in their best interest?

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 4:00pm
When he smoked around the kids at home, did you actively remove them from the situation? Did you get them off to school yourself so he wouldnt be around them, smoking? Did you get up and walk out of the room with your babies whenever he lit up? Or leave the house?

And what about those statistics and research you have always been so fond of? The ones that say that girls who dont have a relationship with their fathera are MUCH more likely to become sexually active early, do poorly in school, have lifelong emotional issues with men and relationships, etc?

Cancer is a real risk. But so are the other issues. They might not cause death, but they can certainly make for a miserable and unhappy life. And you seem pretty cavalier about giving your children those kind of issues to deal with.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 4:08pm
Cancer is a real risk. I am amazed that people here actually argue that I should expose my kids to cigarette smoke more than they have to be.

So what do you have to say about the judges who have curtailed and eliminated visitation because a parent smoked around the kids???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 4:09pm
Eliminating second hand smoke exposure is in their best interest. If xh makes it an ugly custody battle, we'll deal with it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 4:40pm
I dont think eliminating visitation is ever in the childrens best interests, unless there is abuse involved.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 4:41pm
How will your dds *deal with it*? Thats really the question you should be asking yourself.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 4:42pm
Oh and you didnt answer my questions. As usual.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 4:47pm
But she isnt trying to manipulate his access or control it. The access may be somewhat unequal, but thats due to time limitations and circumstance-not because she got a court order that restricted access.

Yours appears to be an effort to control and/or eliminate visitation, in the interests of making the ex somehow *pay*. It really doesnt have a whole lot to do with secondhand smoke. Because I think if he didnt smoke, you'd still be looking for some way to keep him from getting joint custody.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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