Ladies...Enough Already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Ladies...Enough Already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Mon, 10-04-2004 - 2:10pm
Can we please voluntarily end this thread from grlimilakinskeeper, or whatever her screen name is...it's getting too personal, and not very productive.

Kat

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 10:29pm
<> Keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep at night. however, know that one day, your daughters will understand that YOU and YOU alone forced this issue to that situation. Then they'll have two parents to blame. Their dad for not stopping and their mom for setting it up to be a lose-lose situation. Do you really think that they'll "thank you" as an adult for doing this?

<< And if he does, we'll deal with it.>>

nah, i think dj nailed this one dead on. If he agrees to this issue, you'll find some other stumbling block to put in his way. I can't even imagine the two of you sitting across a table deciding all the little things that go along with joint custody.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:20pm
Nope. Not being able to stop something and allowing it to happen are two entirely different things. As I have pointed out, repeatedly, even leaving wouldn't have stopped it because it's only been recently that judges are doing things like taking visitation away and jailing parents who smoke around their kids for contempt. Had I left 9 years ago, he would have been free to smoke around the kids all he wanted when he had his half of the visitation schedule and I'd wager that would have resulted in more exposure than they got in the hour and a half he was home with the kids in the AM wihtout me here to police the situation.

Now, I may very well have the court on my side. Perhaps they can make him do what any decent parent would have done on their own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:22pm
That I had more power in this relationship because I WOH is reality. Whether someone else does, depends on their situation. Dh has little respect for SAHM's. His ex was one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:23pm
It is his choice. I have faith the court will do what is right. Smoking around children is wrong. It's abuse. It should not be allowed. Period. I can't believe you advocate it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:26pm
Why not live in the same area? If having dad involved is important to you, you'll find a way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:28pm
No money doesn't play a part in the problems. Lack of money did in the early years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:29pm
LOL, I want the court to enforce what she has with the restriction that xh cannot smoke around the kids and I'm wrong???? LOL. He'll never agree to it. He wants to smoke when he wants and he wants me paying him child support. However, it is not in the best interest of our kids that we share custody.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:30pm
and it is YOUR choice to force it to this conclusion. i can't believe that you would advocate taking away your dds' relationships with their dad.

and while i don't think smoking around kids is a good thing -- what about the 9+ YEARS that it has already been going on? what about the 9+ YEARS left for visitation? what about the 50+ YEARS that they will still have AFTER they have left both of your homes.

again, keep telling yourself that it's his issue -- if that helps you sleep at night. HOWEVER, the FACT is that you are the one that has forced it to this conclusion. and, if it wasn't this issue (if he does agree to it), I believe that you will then come here complaining of some other travesty of justice/parenting sin (that we also haven't heard about in 5+ YEARS) that he has committed. It's just a matter of time.

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:31pm
So my girls are now mental cases? Um, the divorce isn't even final yet. We have no idea if they will have issues. You assume a lot. You'd do well to remember that I myself am a child of divorce. I have a pretty good idea what my kids may or may not need and when to do something.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:32pm
What issues would those be??

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