Ladies...Enough Already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Ladies...Enough Already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
779
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 2:10pm
Can we please voluntarily end this thread from grlimilakinskeeper, or whatever her screen name is...it's getting too personal, and not very productive.

Kat

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 11:24am

You know what REALLY bothers me about this whole thing?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 11:25am

How exactly is 50% worse then 100%?


I'm not all that great in math....so I'll defer to your higher education on this one.

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 11:28am
Sorry. You enabled it to go on by staying.

And what if your custody plan backfires?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 11:32am
Well, you asked. Your posts always sound so angry (and on things unrelated to STBX, too). Every poster gets angry sometimes but I get an angry vibe on most of yours. I know people IRL who have suffered political oppression or been in a refugee camp who come across as more sanguine.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 11:35am
Sounds like you have quite the high opinion of mental health professionals. Shrink??

Yeah, you have your girls best interests at heart. keep telling yourself that.


dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 11:37am
I dont have time to get in depth here, but from what you have posted over the years, you have a huge chip on your shoulder and a lot of anger issues. And a 19yo girl marrying a much older man speaks of a child wanting to escape from their parents house, and a girl looking for a father figure. To start. There is more.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 11:51am
Your children wouldn't have to be "mental cases" in order to benefit from seeing a psychologist. Seeing a psychologist would allow a professional to assist you in planning by presenting you with an independent view of what your children will need in the future. This could prevent them from becoming "mental cases".

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 11:55am

My children were not "mental cases" when they went to see therapists after Devin died. Their world had fallen apart, their mother had fallen apart and I thought it would benefit them to talk to an outside source.


I didn't realize a child had to be a "mental case" to recieve mental health care assistance when their family is falling apart..due to divorce or death or abandoment. I thought it was being extra careful and cautious.


Silly me.

"Hasty conclusions are the mark of a fool" Sign in front of a church


Kristi

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 11:59am
By staying it was more than half as I could run him out of the house when I was home. I have no control over what he does when he has his half of the custody arrangement if the court doesn't order no smoking around the kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Sun, 10-10-2004 - 12:05pm
Simple. With me here, he does most of his smoking outside. If he does all of half of his smoking around the kids post divorce, he could easily smoke more around the kids than he does with us living together. Pre call to lawyer, I'm sure he was smoking around the kids during the hour and a half he was alone with them M-F but 90% of the smoking he did when I was home was done outside because I chased him outside. With no court restriction on smoking and a joint custody arrangement, he'd be free to do 100% of his smoking around the kids half the time. Which would increase their exposure. (btw, he is a heavy smoker, we're talking two packs a day on days he has them).

If he gets a joint custody arrangement now without a smoking restriction, their exposure to his smoking will increase because the half of the time they're with him, there will be no one around to run him out of the house. They've been exposed to about 25% of what he smokes at home. Post divorce, they would be exposed to half of what he smokes. That's double.

Even a standard visitation schedule won't reduce their exposure unless the court puts a no smoking restriction on visitation as he'd have them more than 25% of the time they're not in school and would be free to smoke all he wanted around them. I need the court restriction on smoking around the kids to reduce their exposure any way this goes.

Since their family is being torn apart anyway, I might as well use the court to improve the air my kids breathe. I'm looking for the best outcome for my kids and that would be a smoke free environment regardless of which parent they're with but I need the court to enforce that. 9 years of bitching, fighting, having doctors talk to him, etc, etc, etc... didn't work. Perhaps having a judge threaten to take away visitation will.




Edited 10/10/2004 12:11 pm ET ET by grimalkinskeeper

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