Ladies...Enough Already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Ladies...Enough Already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
779
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 2:10pm
Can we please voluntarily end this thread from grlimilakinskeeper, or whatever her screen name is...it's getting too personal, and not very productive.

Kat

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 4:08pm
Already have. That kind of damage is done by dad not living under the same roof and it is not undone by him having a certain number of hours physical custody. I know what I'm up against here and that is what matters. Joint custody won't spare my girls any of what you're suggesting. The day dad moves out we start that ball rolling.

How much he sees the girls is his decision not mine as, no, I'm not going to allow smoking around the girls just because he wants to. Anyone who smokes around kids is, at least, a piss poor example for them.

You need to remember that I've been through this myself. I know what my girls are up against and that is why they won't be statistics.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 4:22pm
LOL, My children would need to be mentally ill before I'd call a shrink. I've dealt with psychiatrists enough to have little faith in a particular one's diagnosis and prognosis. We went through SEVERAL psychiatrists with dss#1. All offering different diagnosis and treatment recommendations. Psychiatry isn't like medicine where you can run a test and determine what is wrong. It's a lot of guesswork. Given my experience, both with shrinks (as a patient, the mother of a patient and the daughter of a patient) and in being a child of divorce myself, I think I'll trust my own judgement, thank you. I can pay myself $100/hr and guess just as well, lol.

I am convinced they are just guessing and you get diagnosed with the flavor of the week. I sought treatment many years ago for what turned out to be a chemical Imbalance and allergies! Not ONE psychiatrist was able to make that determination. We found out about the allergies by accident and my doctor's husband made the diagnosis on the chemical imbalance when I had to see him instead of her one day. I have a host of physical complaints that disappeared when I started treatment. All of which had been attributed to "nerves" by the psychiatrists.

Dss was misdiagnosed over and over. The last guy got it right but it turned out there was nothing anyone could do and we'd been wasting our money in therapy for all those years. He told us if he managed to make it to 30 without killing someone, he'd be just fine, and that's about the time he decided to get his act together. You have no idea how many thousands of dollars we spent in therapy sessions that never could work with that child. There is somethng hdifferent with his brain. He lacks a conscience. Right and wrong are defined in terms of what get him what he wants. He had to get to a point in life where he had things worth protecting to get him to play by the rules.

I'll wait for my neice to graduate. She'll be getting her PhD in psychiatry in about 3 years. At least I know her and her motives for what she does. I'm convinced that many shrinks are just performing their own experiments on patients.

Edited for spelling.




Edited 10/12/2004 5:21 pm ET ET by grimalkinskeeper

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 5:02pm
LOL, she's telling me I should allow smoking around mine. Are mine special that they somehow deserve to have smoke blown in their faces?

It doesn't matter if you blow the smoke in their faces or not, the effect is the same. If you don't believe me, go wash the walls in a smokers house and note that no matter what room they smoke in there is a brown film all over the walls.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 5:05pm
No, that is stuff you can deal with. There's not much you can do about cancer once you have it.

There are other factors that influence girls as well. Knowing what you're up against is half the battle. A strong male role model really helps here. Fortunately, I have a couple of really cool brothers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 5:10pm

"A strong male role model really helps here. Fortunately, I have a couple of really cool brothers"


In all this pyscho babble drama, that has to be the most offensive thing you have ever written. Remove the father for smoking but he can be replaced because you have some really cool brothers.


You have lost all credibility here. All. The next time you post about the importance of fathers or how a woman should work for power or how a woman is a good role model strictly because of their work status...all a person has to do is go to all these mega threads and quote you.


You should just stop and try to join a thread that has nothing to do with you but you are incapable of it.

"Hasty conclusions are the mark of a fool" Sign in front of a church


Kristi

"I do not want to be a princess! I want to be myself"

Mallory (age 3)

      &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 5:19pm
If dad gets himself removed for smoking around the kids in defiance of a court order, I will be very glad my brothers are around.

I am seeking to stop him from smoking around the kids. If the court agrees with me, his removal or continued contact will be totally his decision. If he decides he wants to be an uninvolved father, there's not much I can do about that other than make sure my girls have strong role models. Even if I wanted to, there'd be no allowing smoking to allow visitation once the judgement is put in place.

You are not getting that it is his choice whether or not to smoke around the girls. It's not hard to step outside when you light up. I'm not even asking for something difficult yet I'm seen as being ureasonable. No, unreasonable is a parent who smokes around their kids.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 5:38pm
NO, that's NOT what I'm saying at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 6:00pm

I just did some interesting on-line Googling and found that smoking is only ONE of MANY issues that need to be taken into consideration when determining custody.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 6:32pm
With kids dealing with divorce it would be a whole differebnt situation than with dss#1. Mainly, they wouldn't need to be classidied as mentally ill or need a diagnosis or prognosis- or even a psychiatrist. More likely would be a psychologist for humdrum talk therapy- what you do when you aren't mentally ill as such, but need a truly objective person to talk to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 6:42pm
Do you have a link? I don't get why they wouldn't let the kids live with the non smoker.

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