Ladies...Enough Already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Ladies...Enough Already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
| Mon, 10-04-2004 - 2:10pm |
Can we please voluntarily end this thread from grlimilakinskeeper, or whatever her screen name is...it's getting too personal, and not very productive.
Kat

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We outlined to them that, although we were separating and divorcing, that we love them as their Mom and Dad -- and that they would still always have a Dad -- and will see plenty of him.
I told him that you don't love me anymore -- and i have no feelings left for you either, but that we can be good co-parents and that i would never stand in the way of his relationship with his kids. He also said that he wouldn't fight me financially.
We're going through our divorce mediation right now. we've not considered it as a "loss" of the other parent, but as an "opportunity" for dh to be more involved (and much more actively involved when he has them). We've structured it so that the kids can call him when they need to also.
Visiting the lawyers enabled me to see that i should come out of this just fine. I won't be rich, but i'll have primary physical custody of my kids, my home, my vehicles and still have my job. I guess i'd still be rich after all. >>
And yes, he was a father, someone you obviously saw as more *mature* and worldly, so I absolutely think that your subconcious saw him as a father figure. Happens quite often when young girls marry older men. Which is also probably why you never dated guys your own age to begin with.
I think you have a ton of issues, but given your attitude about counseling and such (in fact, given your attitude I seriously wonder just how much marriage counseling you actually got) I dont think you are ever going to come to terms with them. Which is really sad, because I think every person in this world can benefit from some form of counseling-we all have our demons from our pasts to deal with. You seem to see it as a form of weakness to admit that, but it isnt.
I think your issues, given your past, are bigger than a lot of peoples. I think your perception is very very skewed and I think your dds are ultimately going to pay the price for that.
But no one can do anything about any of that except YOU. Which is why I am done posting to you about any of this. You arent looking for anything here but attention.
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
dj
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
eileen
I've had more experience with psychiatrists than I care to mention. They're not right very often from where I sit. Maybe it's just the engineer in me but I just can't see spending money on a service you may or may not need for a problem that may or may not come to fruition. Especially since I've seen psychiatrists cause more problems than they solve.
The second psychiatrist dss#1 saw decided the first thing he needed to do was educate him on child's rights. Talk about stripping authority from parents. I told him to go to his rooom one day, shortly thereafter and he told me "What the hell you gonna do if I don't" and walked out the front door and set the dumpster on fire. The first psychiatrist said he was ADHD and put him on Ritalin which he didn't need because he wasn't ADHD. We had him in psychotherapy, on and off, from age 9 to age 16. We were FINALLY told, by the last psychiatrist that his condition wasn't something that could be dealt with with psychoanalysis. All they could really offer was support for us but there are lots cheaper ways to find support.
I am not saying the only reason to seek psychiatric help is if you're mentally ill. I'm saying the only way I'd take MY kids in to a psychiatrist is if they were mentally ill. BTDT and I've seen psychiatrists invent problems where none exist while totally missing what really is the issue. Sometimes what a therapist thinks should happen becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. The power of suggestion and leading a child in questioning can have powerful impact.
It never dawned on me I was supposed to have issues with my parents divorce until the therapist told me I should. To me, it was normal. Funny how he never hit on what really were issues for me. I just followed his lead. It was a total waste of time.
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