Ladies...Enough Already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Ladies...Enough Already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
779
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 2:10pm
Can we please voluntarily end this thread from grlimilakinskeeper, or whatever her screen name is...it's getting too personal, and not very productive.

Kat

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 10-13-2004 - 11:12pm
That is exactly my view as well. Her posts seem full of anger, fear and misinformation. And I think its quite offensive that a supposedly educated person would use the term *shrink*.

She is speaking from LACK of knowledge, not out of any REAL knowledge or experience.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 10-13-2004 - 11:16pm
A psychologist or family therapist does NOT have less training. Where do you get these ideas? Its simply a different KIND of training, because they focus on a different KIND of treatment than a psychiatrist. You really really need to educate yourself.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 10-13-2004 - 11:43pm

Hey - at least I know I was right. What you know about this subject could fit on the head of a pin and leave room for 10,000 angels to dance.

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 10-13-2004 - 11:46pm
That was pretty funny. According to your defintions, if I'm sucessful at being PRO-active, I'm actually being OVER-RE-active.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Wed, 10-13-2004 - 11:50pm

But psychiatrists and licensed therapists are two very different things. You can't compare thier training, because they are trained in different processes.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 10-13-2004 - 11:51pm
I am speaking of how you, at 19, would have seen him. He was older, a parent, a *grown up*. You were obviously anxious to be a *grown up* too, to have all those trappings of married life, perhaps to escape your own childhood.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 10:03am
Valid position.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 10:06am
Thats terrifying.

Before the therapist can "help" they need to figure out what the "problem" is. That requires a diagnosis, any way you cut it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 10:19am


Well now, a 19 yr old calling up a Mom crying over a boyfriend might consitute evidence of a probelm. Of course, it could still constitute evidecne of parental over reaction. Looking back...seems just about everyone I knew was crying over relationships at that age. Everyone managed without having to pay someone to listen. However, perhaps you were less able to cope. WHY are you assuming your poor child is in the same boat as you, rather than as capable as others? AND WHY ARE YOU ASSUMING GRIMALS CHILDREN HAVE YOUR PARTICULAR ISSUES WITH LIFE?



Because chances are, she can. By overreacting to the rather small possibility that she can't, you are TELLING her no question, that she can't. Which is what she will think, going forward. "I'm upset. I have not one, but two problems. One problem is the issue that is upsetting me. The second problem is the fact that I'm upset". Who needs it.



I really would not expect a child to talk to a mother or father about the divorce, unless of course, the child were fairly certain she had parents who could hear what they'd rather not. Most children are probably, correctly, fairly certain they don't have such parents. Does this child not have anyone in her life, who is on her side and who is her friend first, who is not in her parents confidence? ICK.



Well we aren't really discussing YOUR child. We are discussing GRIMAL'S children who SHE knows, and YOU don't. SHE is their MOM. YOU are just some poster on a BULLETIN BOARD. WHY in the world are you assuming YOU know GRIMALS children, if I DON'T KNOW YOURS?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-14-2004 - 10:28am
Yep. I'm really astounded to read about all these children being packed off to therapy right left and centre. I hope the board is terribly representative of reality in this regard.

I wonder if all these parents are taking this approach in order to prevent their children from talking to other people in their lives - because the parents are trying to control who knows what about the family life? Too bad for those parents. It almost certainly won't work. I do think parents are being a little naive to think that kids are going to let down the "adult interaction" guard and become all comfy and open and honest, just because Mom wrote a $15 cheque to an adult who closed a door and said "I won't tell". Trust is earned and it develops over time. It can't be bought and mandated on the spot. Which of course would be why, unless the child is really isolated, the real and most useful therapy is happennig probably at lunch hour...and the $15, if it buys nothing else, probably buys a few regular lunch room laughs as the most recent session is trotted out for peer group inspection and entertainment purposes.

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