Ladies...Enough Already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Ladies...Enough Already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
779
Mon, 10-04-2004 - 2:10pm
Can we please voluntarily end this thread from grlimilakinskeeper, or whatever her screen name is...it's getting too personal, and not very productive.

Kat

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:34am
One child in my daughter's year has been targeted for ostracization by a group of nut case mothers. I have not as yet, been able to determine what this child's crime was. My daughter does not know. Non-participating parents do not know. However, the girls are 10, in Gr 5. We'll know shortly. The children are at the age now where the telephone wispering sessions of the nut job mothers, will be broadcast over the schoolyard loudspeaker, via their less socially self conscious offspring. I'm not expecting something reasonable here, you know. When kids are targeted for ostracization by adults, it screams "This makes no sense". The kid is in for a hell of a junior high experience, I'm afraid. If I were her parents, I'd get her out of the school NOW. However, trying to claim Grimal was in a strange circumstance because the 'reason' she was ostracized didn't hold in your world, is ridiculous. It most likely didn't hold in hers either. Thats not what these things are usually about. There were almost certainly equally 'strange circumstances' going on at your school...you just didn't happen to be the casualty.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:40am
The joke says it all...lets hope the poor guy doesn't need to travel. He's now dependant upon beds without legs for a good nights sleep.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:41am

Number one:

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:44am
My point was, they are 2 different kinds of educations. Neither is *less* than the other. A psychologist is not necessarily LESS educated than a psychiatrist, as cyndi keeps trying to claim.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:49am
You said that very well. And thats what she isnt getting. A psychologist/counselor usually deals with SITUATIONAL problems. A psychiatrist deals with actual brain disorders and medical issues-things that require medication on an ongoing basis. I dont understand why she cannot comprehend (or refuses to admit) the difference.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 11:49am

But you've just stated that your kids have seen doctors (orthodontists, podiatrists, physiologists) because of situations where intervention MIGHT be deemed helpful.


CLW's kids are in a situation where intervention MIGHT be deemed helpful.. . .but she's saying she won't take them to counseling UNTIL a problem arises.

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 12:04pm
Children are incredibly selfish individuals. They do not by default, assume they are the cause of anything. They are little blame machines. Its a survival instinct. Watch sibblings, they'll tell you all you need to know about that.

Mind there are children who are emmotionally abused in such a way that they develop the tendancy to blame themselves for everything. However, that sistuation has absolutely nothing to do with divorce. Lots of them living in perfectly intact homes. If your children tend to do this...yes...I would say that constitutes a problem worthy of attention, whether you are divorcing, or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 12:09pm
You obviously do not realize that children blaming themselves for the divorce is VERY common. Because children are egocentric, they tend to think everything is about them, and QUITE OFTEN blame themselves when parents divorce.

dj

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 12:13pm

No, children are not "selfish individuals" they are egocentric, in that they believe that the world revolves around them because cognitively they have a difficult time taking another person's perspective.

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-15-2004 - 12:23pm
See I didn't take my child to the above specialists because he MIGHT have problems with his teeth and feet. I did it because I saw evidence that there was a problem. I didn't take him when he lost his first tooth (because there MIGHT be a problem with the permanent teeth ) or when he started to walk (because there MIGHT be a problem with his feet ). Do you feel Grimal should take her children to the podiatrist and orthodontist because I observed evidence of a problem with my child's teeth and feet? Afterall, presumably hers are walking around with faces full of permanent teeth.

Grimal noticed a problem with her child's ability in math. She dealt with it. I don't agree with her analysis of "problem" but that would not be the point. By comparison, she is not proposing she wait until her child "fails" the divorce. She is waiting to see if the child shows signs of problems with her ability to deal with the divorce. What you are suggesting actually, is that all parents rush their children off to math tutors the first day the child is introduced to the concept of "number". Because heaven knows, a good number of 'em end up having trouble with math.

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